Carly Rae Jepsen: “Call Me Maybe”

Laugh out loud! I have a deep loathing for the internet acronym “LOL”. So few people really mean it, you know? In this particular case, I’m spelling it out for you, to draw attention to the hilarious idea that we’d post this Carly Rae Jepsen music video without any ulterior motives.

Sure, it’s a catchy song that’s heating up on pop radio, but do any of us actually care about that shit? Nope. There’s a muscular, shirtless dude in the video, and he’s serving up a steaming platter of sex, sex and more sex. <– Pretend that sentence was sexier.

His name is Holden Nowell, and he could mow my lawn whenever he wants to… Just kidding. He’s waaaaaaay too pretty for me. But I guess I’d stick it in him just to see how tight he is? Maybe I’d lick his balls? Tickle his coin purse? I’m still not sure. I’ll get back to you on that matter.

– Dewitt

Click through to listen to “Call Me Maybe” see sexy pics of Holden Nowell:

135 thoughts on “Carly Rae Jepsen: “Call Me Maybe”

  1. I have a total hottie who mows my lawn.  I’ve often thought of paying him a bit more if he’d do it shirtless.  I’m not proud.

  2. Wow, that was a great vid (and ending).  I watched it on mute, and really enjoyed it!

  3. My lawn guy, Sean, always works shirtless and has a body to die for.  Recently, my neighbor, a middle-aged married woman, casually asked me when he was coming over next to mow my yard.  The next time he came over — miracle of miracles — four of the ladies on the street had arranged a play date for their kids.  While a nanny herded after the kids, the four desperate housewives sat in lawn chairs, sipping lemonade, and eye fucking the shit out of Sean.  He caught on and played it up for them.  He even “cleaned off” when he was done by standing in my side yard and hosing himself off.  I thought those horny gals were going to spontaneously combust!!! 

  4. Are you fucking kidding me?  I swear, Dyus, if you are making this up I am going to call in a favor with a friend of mine and have you drawn and quartered.  

  5. When I rule the world…bangs on females will be a capital offense along with sloppy pig-tails.
    The boy is f’ in hot!

  6. woot she’s canadian 😛
    and boy am i glad that that guy doesn’t have those tattoos in real life

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.