Oooo, True Blood is gittin’ so good! Eric and Sookie are all over each other, Pam’s dropping c-bombs, and Jason, Jessica, AND HOYT are having dream sex together. Read on!
– J. Harvey
For the True Blood recap, Follow the JUMP:
Sookie N’ Eric: Are on FIYAH! Eric has a terrible nightmare in which his maker Godric (short dude who smoked himself, literally, in Dallas) makes him feed on “SOOKEH.” Like the overgrown blondie baby that he is due to his amnesia, he seeks comfort in Sookie. She strokes his hair and neglects to tell him that he’s a killing machine.
Tara shows up later, and girl, her annoyance level would be OFF THE CHART if she was getting her own entry today. Tara discusses her New Orleans ladyfriend, and Sookie urges her to open up to her about how she’s from Helltown. Unfortunately, the sun goes down and Eric comes up and Tara freaks and gets super-judgey on everyone. Tara, shut up. You know Sookie is trisexual, and in love with Bill, Eric, AND Alcide. Stranger things have happened. A fashionable woman who lived in a mansion had the entire town fucking on lawns and eating dirt a couple of years back. Come now. Sookie goes on a mind-reading mission and finds out from the waitress with the forehead (her name escapes me) where Magical Marnie hangs out. Sookie goes undercover for a reading, and her Grams possesses Marnie to let Sookie know that she shouldn’t fuck Eric, and that Marnie is bad news. Sookie, you in danger, girl!
Bill N’ Pam N’ Marnie: The horribly disfigured Pam wants Marnie deader than dead. She has the best line of the episode – ““Convene your sheriffs so we can kill this uppity Wiccan cunt… Your Majesty.” That comes on a t-shirt in the HBO store. Bill is still in charge of the “Vampires Are Cuddly” campaign and knows he can’t off a human. But he can have the “vampire police” arrest her ass. There’s vampire police? Ok. Marnie is pinched and shown to a cell. Bill attempts to interrogate her, but Marnie knows zero about how to reverse the spell on Pam’s mug. We DO learn that the evil bitch possessing her is named Antonia. Antonia is the witch who was burned in Marnie’s last vision. The gist of it is that she was burned as a witch, but not before mindfucking a whole bunch of vamps to die with her back in the day. She’s not a big fan of the vamps, as you’ve probably guessed. Marnie scares the shit out of me, by the way. Oh, and Pam accidentally lets Bill know that Eric’s alive, and over at “SOOKEH’S.” So he flies over there to kick some ass.
Jason N’ Jessica N’ Hoyt: Love triangle! Jessica and Hoyt are still not getting along, and bringing a wounded and exceptionally sexy young man to their home isn’t going to Dr. Phil their problems. Jason has a sex dream in which Jessica is riding his hog like she was a rodeo cowgirl, as Hoyt heckles him. Then Hoyt is the one he’s having sex with! This should have been an extended scene. Jessica could have gone to have a True Blood during it, too.
Sam N’ Tommy: When last we left Tommy, his step-dad from the crack shack was choke-chaining him. It doesn’t take, and Tommy kills Ichabod Crane from the swamps and accidentally kills his mom. Boo-hoo, she was no great shakes anyways. Like a true brother, Sam helps Tom-Tom dump the bodies. Everything is fine, until the vampire blood-fixated Sheriff Andy pulls em’ over. He comes close to discovering the stiffs, but Tommy shifts into an alligator and scares his ass away. That’s the first smart thing Tommy has done this entire series. Besides show us his hot ass.
As for the other characters: Arlene and Terry consult with Tara’s moms about their demon spawn. Do they know she’s an insane drunk? Portia Bellefleur tries to convince Bill that incest with her is best, and no, thank you.
And could it be? None of the characters (save Tara, of course) annoyed the shit out of me? It’s a day that will live in infamy! And there wasn’t really any nudity to speak of. So I’m going to have to go back to wanking to that season one episode where Jason dances in his tighty-whities.
Hoyt and Jason sounds really hot.
Wait. No Lafayette/Jesus this week?
@Goblyn….honestly, they didn’t make an impression on me this week. But you’re right, I should have included them. My bad. 🙁
I think this episode is the perfect excuse for Jason to try a little man on man action. He’s realizing his last few relationships with women have been fucking up his life. Preferably a little Alcide x Jason action… I have a soft spot for Debbie trying to get a little redemption, but Joe Manganiello is one hell of a man.
I was just wondering if they were mentioned in this episode or not. I don’t have HBO, so I use Manhunt to keep track every week.
Pam has become my favourite character! The other line that she dropped was “I can put up with a lot, but when you fuck with my face it’s time to die!”
i love love love the new Eric.
hes even more hot than season 1, 2 and 3 Eric! 😀
Dressing Eric in those baggy, silky-polyester sports shorts that poor people buy at Wal-Mart or a sporting goods outlet store is just wrong. While he is semi-confined to Sookie’s celler he should wear Timoteo, Armani Exchange or nothing at all.
aaw you didnt include what happens with lafeyette and jesus 🙁
Yeah, they fled to Mexico to escape Eric and Pam and met up with Jesus’ warlock uncle. This storyline is boring me unless Lafayette gets some sassy magic powers.