Hotness Level: “Behind The Candelabra”

We all tuned in, right? It was like the Movie of the Week event of the….week. Month! HBO’s Behind The Candelabra pulled back the glittery curtain on Liberace’s opulent life, his sex addiction, and how he treated his many, many boy toys over the years. And those little dogs! One of the boy toys being Matt Damon as the often ass- out Scott Thorsen. Their story was twisted, comedic, and surprisingly tender. “Lee” , despite insisting on remaining closeted (seriously, people didn’t believe he was gay) , liked to fuck. He especially liked to fuck young dudes. He hires Scott as his companion and they’re basically a married couple until Scott gets too old and hooked on his “California diet” (speed and coke). So Lee kicks his Speedo-ed ass out and things fall off for ole’ Scotty. Thanks for the recap, J. WHAT ABOUT COCK AND ASS? What is “Behind the Candelabra’s” “hotness level”? Keep reading!

1) Are there any hot guys in the movie?

Yes! Matt Damon! Matt shows some skin in this one. We get several glimpses of his buttcheeks, and he also runs around in skimpy bathing suits quite a bit. Hilariously, his character always has a speedo or thong tanline when he’s nude. He goes through several physical transformations in the flick, but in the scenes where he’s in top physical form – he’s in TOP PHYSICAL FORM. I’ve never noticed Matt had such a NICE bod. His upper body is cut, and almost a wrestler’s build.  Everything’s seen through a late 70s/early 80s lens, so there’s a lot of shag haircuts and jewelry. If you can get beyond that, Scott Bakula’s got a nice little form on him for an older dude (he plays a mutual friend of Lee and Scott). There are also quick glimpses of Lee’s side pieces, including Boyd Holbrook as the opening act dancer that takes Scott’s place. Cheyenne Jackson plays Scott’s miffed predecessor. He’s normally hot as balls, but his character has so much showbiz makeup and hair going on, as well as a bad attitude, it sort of kills the hot on him.

2) Is there any male nudity?

Yep! No cock, but some nice ass shots. You get to see Damon’s bum more than a few times. Matt’s bod is highlighted throughout. Michael Douglas is also showing bod. To be generous, we’ll note that he’s 68 and a really good actor. Hey, everyone gets old.

3) Are any of the guys wearing anything hot or doing anything homoerotic?

Uh, YEAH. Matt and Michael make out quite a bit. They have a poppers n’ anal scene (nothing is really shown). Douglas goes down on Damon (hinted not shown). Speedos abound. After Liberace’s mom kicks, he feels “free” enough to take Scott to a “video store” complete with booths and gets his glory hole on. It’s a really gay movie. Liberace watches gay porn and tries to convince Scott to let him buttfuck him. A REALLY gay movie. Which it damn well should be, it’s the Liberace story.

4) Are there any gay characters and are they doing anything sessy with each other?

See above. Everything above.

5) Is there any gay subtext?

There’s no need for subtext. It’s all text. It’s right on the cover, and right there on the page. With illustrations. And poppers.

 

HOTNESS LEVEL SCORING SYSTEM

1 – Christian Mingle.com
2 – Hot guys in the cast
3 – Hot guys in the cast showing a little skin and doing some hot things.
4 – Hot guys doing gay stuff and/or having very little in the way of costumes.
5 – All this gay porn is missing is cum shots.

Behind The Candelabra gets…*drum-roll*…

A 3.5 (yes, we’re allowing decimals)!  If you can get past the disco duck looks and plastic surgery disasters, Matt Damon as a gay boy toy is everything. It’s also a good movie, with spectacular performances. You should check it out.

Screencaps credit: Superherofan.net

p.s. It should also be noted that Rob Lowe as the effed-up, feline-faced plastic surgeon Dr. Jack would steal the movie if it Douglas and Damon weren’t already. He is EVERYTHING.

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