“I Have Wanted Nothing More Than To Feel A Rock Hard Sparkling Dick Inside Of Me.”

sparkle vampire Edward Cullen Robert Pattinson dildo Twilight

The Twilight dildo popped up on the internet back in August, and we're not really sure why we never wrote about it. For those who aren't familiar this exciting product, it's basically a dildo that sparkles. Exactly why does it sparkle you ask? Because that's what Edward Cullen does in the Twilight series. Duh! And apparently a lot of people want to sleep with Robert Pattinson, the actor who plays him.

Believe it or not, the reviews of this sex toy are actually funnier than its existence alone. More than half of them are insincere, but you have to read them to believe them. Take this one for example: "This product is AH-MAZING. I [bought] 27. I gave them out to all my friends as party gifts. Then I kept 7 of them for myself so I could pretend the whole Cullen family was inside me. AT ONCE."

Where do people even come up with this kind of stuff? I'd love to stay and wait for you to answer that question, but I'm late for my vampire-roleplay fantasy gangbang with the Cullen family. We'll be doing it on top of these pillows.

– Dewitt

To watch a video of the dildo sparkling, follow the JUMP:

6 thoughts on ““I Have Wanted Nothing More Than To Feel A Rock Hard Sparkling Dick Inside Of Me.”

  1. “Then I kept 7 of them for myself so I could pretend the whole Cullen family was inside me. AT ONCE.”
    Wow, Even I’m not *that* skilled.
    Thanks for sharing this. I’m not a Twilight fan, and if were, I’d totally be team Jacob. But I sent this link to my sister who is Team Edward. Will keep you posted if she buys it…

  2. Pattinson recently said that he was “allergic to vaginas”, so maybe he’s family.

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