After all the animosity against Christian Wilde‘s ink, you shouldn’t be surprised that I’m bringing back the Battle of The Tattoos for the first time in over a year. I like going against the grain and challenging your notion of what’s attractive. Also, I occasionally like pissing you off. This is especially true when you’re being judgmental jerks about something.
Look, I’m not saying you need to find tattoos sexy or get one yourself, but can we please tone down the acidic remarks about what one man decides to do with his body? “Those who have tattoos do not love themselves enough,” wrote one commenter. “They are trying to TURN themselves into something else and are putting on A SHELL to hide behind. They actually make you look pathetic.”
Really? Pathetic? To me, it sounds pretty pathetic to make a generalization like this about people with tattoos… So, uh, without further ado, the four contestants in today’s round of iPhone Wars have decided to “ruin” their bodies with “art”. Which one of them wears it best?
– Dewitt
Photos via: Guys With iPhones
Click through to see the full pics and cast your vote:
CONTESTANT A:
CONTESTANT B:
CONTESTANT C:
CONTESTANT D:
Of course, the only dick shot is getting the most votes. He’s not even remotely the hottest guy in this post, as D is one sexy/handsome/rugged/real hot man!
I disagree with that CupidsBeau……… I chose B because I like his physique – I don’t like them too skinny and definitely not hairy. I find B more attractive, not because his dick is on show. If I wanted to be impressed with a penis, all I need to do is look down towards my feet……
what a bunch of butterfaces. the “commenter” cited by DeWitt has the right idea, if these four guys are any indication
I saw ‘C’ and like his look. Bad thought though, I know that is a toothbrush in his mouth, but why did it look like a tampon to at first thought?
They are all gorgeous men however, I don’t like the chest tats (just not for me) and I do enjoy the manly, hunky, sexy, gorgeousness of Contestant B. He is a living wet dream!!
Not a fan of tattoos, although I am partial to ones on one shoulder … so D has the tat I like the best followed by B … A and C are way too over-tatted and a turn off to me. So I would have gone for D but I think B has a better physique and is way better looking, not that D is bad but I’m attracted overall more to B. Nothing to do with his dick showing, though nice to get an idea what will be wildly flopping as I pound him … 🙂
Contestant B was on Baitbus. HaHa
I voted for A, but I wish he would have had a smile, rather than a scoul,
Just tat wise, A, but I like B and I think the added body fat helps him. None are super stand outs but B is bottom of the barrel here.
I’m just curious as to what kind of face A is making… It’s a little scary…
Sorry, typo. C is bottom of the barrel. B>D>A>C
I chose D because he has the least tattoos…
Where’s the ‘None of the above’ option? Tattoos completely ruin a guy’s beauty! But I did vote for A because he’s the only one who is even remotely attractive of the four. Wish he wasn’t doing that stupid face though!
A is cute, I like his tatts, and his pic is edgy, how can you not vote for him? B and D are in close 2nd, B has more ink and his dick out, but D just does something to me.
I vote ‘B’ for BONER!
keep up the great work, dewitt! the more i read your intro comments the more i swear i could fall for you, sight unseen! 🙂
B, no D, no, B, no, D….damn this is hard…oh wait, that’s just me……I LOVE D’s face, that smirk makes it all good!
Why is there never a “None of the above” option?
It appears as though very few people want C which is fine by me because I will take him alllll to myself. Thank you.
I know A and believe me you don’t want him to smile…
I think tattoos can be super sexy, but you found a lot of ugly ones.
I thought the same thing too. LOL
Yay, thanks Dewitt. I love it when you challenge beauty tropes. And thanks for calling out the blanket statement, judgmental dudes. And I agree, no is being forced to like tattoos, but a little decency is preferred. Especially when there have been articles to suggest that tattoos cause others to objectify the tattooed, it’s usually not this idea of self-objectifying people. It’s also resulted in a lot of sexual harassment. But yeah, I vote B because he has the best overall layout for his tattoos, even if they’re not the best alone. Cohesion is important! (for me)
Dewitt U and I agree on something ( first time 4 everything ) but you are SPOT ON !!
Who are we 2 be JUDGEMENTAL about what someone else puts on there body and yes I voted 4 D my old school philosophy less is best when it comes to tats and BTW B is just as fine !!!
really? link it up please cause i wanna see! lol
rofl, i know A.
All of the supeficiality here is why I remain single…
All of the supeficiality here is why I remain single…
i voted for Guy “B.”
for his face, not for his dick.
(which, obviously, is also nice.)
Guy “D” is a close second..
..maybe if he had a different facial expression. . . . .
!
Guy “D” could be Billy May’s stand-in!!
I don’t understand why anyone would want to cover their bodies with tattoos and I certainly don’t find them attractive. That being said, if someone wants to do it, go ahead and more power to them. Because I don’t understand it, and don’t find it sexy, doesn’t mean that others don’t. There are lots of things I like that others would say “ewww….” To each their own.