The poll you’re about to vote in represents everything that’s wrong with gay hook-up culture. Each of these men are beautiful in their own way, yet in most cases, they were tossed aside in previous rounds of iPhone Wars for chiseled white boys with big cocks (or contestants who weren’t wearing creepy panda masks). We’d be embarrassed about these results, but it’s not our damn fault! You’re the ones who didn’t vote for them.
The last time we did a round of iPhone Wars like this, we called it the “Battle of The Losers“. It was a title that was supposed to be taken in the most literal sense—each contestant shown came in last place in his individual competition—but one of you thought it was “disrespectful” to refer to these men as losers. We’re not entirely sure you were wrong about that. Taking the feedback into account, we’ve re-branded this as “The Redemption Round”.
Which of these guys deserves a second chance?
– Dewitt
Check out pics of each contestant and cast your vote below:
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CONTESTANT A (Battle of The Cock Blockers):
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CONTESTANT B (Battle of The Abs):
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CONTESTANT(S) C (Battle of The Hot Couples):
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CONTESTANT D (Battle of The Randoms):
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CONTESTANT E (Battle of The Whip Out):
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CONTESTANT F (Battle of The Locker Room Studs):
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CONTESTANT G (The Cock Fight):
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CONTESTANT H (Battle of The Cubs):
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CONTESTANT I (Battle of The Boxer Briefs):
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CONTESTANT J (Battle of The Smiles):
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CONTESTANT K (Battle of The Guys With Glasses):
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CONTESTANT L (Battle of The Tattooed Gents):
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CONTESTANT M (Battle of The Armpit Posers):
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CONTESTANT N (Battle of The Towel Boys):
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CONTESTANT O (Battle of The Booty):
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CONTESTANT P (Battle of The Randoms):
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CONTESTANT Q (Battle of The Jockstraps):
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CONTESTANT R (Battle of The Clothed Dudes):
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CONTESTANT S (Battle of The Happy Trails):
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CONTESTANT T (Battle of The Guys With Glasses):
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CONTESTANT U (Battle of The Goofy Faces):
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CONTESTANT V (Battle of The Anonymous Cock):
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CONTESTANT W (Battle of The Abs):
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CONTESTANT X (Battle of The Hairy Chests):
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CONTESTANT Y (Battle of The Bulge):
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CONTESTANT Z (Battle of The Champions):
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SECOND CHANCE (Battle of The Losers):
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i couldn’t vote for any of them. Terrible round.
CONTESTANT G FOR THE WIN!
Congratulations! You win the “Superficial Fuckwad” award.
Hooray for multiple choice! The first several were super yummy (they’re all hot in their own way).
Any guy looking into the mirror and not at the phone screen is worth a vote, if smiling extra credit.
this poll is awesome. I think some people would vote for a giraffe it had abs. This poll also speaks volumes about the audience- pat themselves on the back for voting lockstep for ‘traditional’ attractive traits BUT spend your nites sweating with anythings thats : available, has less than 25% body fat, and has most of it limbs and teeth. I like O because he puts beer cans on window sills.
F & W the rest the worst that I have seen !!!
there are a lot of hot guys here, but keep in mind that its not abnormal to think healthy guys are sexy. we’ve all got our types, and traits that we prefer, but most people don’t think morbid obesity is sexy, and there’s nothing wring with that. it looks like several of these guys have a bmi over 30, and there is a reason they lost. traditional attractive traits are considered attractive for a reason, and hating on guys who agree with them isn’t cool.
Seriously, you do know that no matter how pretty you are, you will eventually decay….right? There will always be somebody prettier and younger coming up behind you. As Cher once said to Madonna, you can afford to be a little more magnanimous and a little less of a cunt.
So, the HAMMER is for “hammerhead”?
Oh brother! Because people who like six packs are so persecuted in this world.
S, V and I for me!
First off that Asians goody trail is WOW!
Love a long slender cock on a nice body to hit the sweet spot while seeing some eye candy working it!
And I want to make a big ole wet spot with my mouth on those boxer briefs!
i feel like they are a bit here. i don’t go around complaining on the posts where guys i don’t like are featured, because i think its great that there’s all kinds out there, but its really common that i see people complaining about people liking abs, and i don’t see how its any different from people complaining about any other group. i think the really large guys perhaps shouldn’t be so glorified because it is a serious health problem, but that aside, as a guy without abs, it is nice to see guys without abs being shown in a positive light, as being beautiful. that said, i will never fault someone for liking someone with abs over me, because they do look better than me. i’ll just count my blessings when i find a cute guy who likes my build, and not complain about all the ones who don’t.
I think that they are all do-able and would be happy to to do them all one at a time, or all at once
does that make me a slut?
X marks the spot
Wait, you’re actually going to call someone out for being superficial in a post about voting for the hottest guy in a list? Wouldn’t anyone who did (or even did not) vote be superficial, seeing that the votes are based purely on how these men look?
Yes, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Slut pride!
HAHA, fair point! In this case, place the emphasis on “Fuckwad”.
Amen to that.