In this world I love three things and three things only: bottoming, cats, and masturbating – in that order. Nothing makes me smile like a good plow; icanhascheezburger.com coming in close second. I also top from time to time, and I've found that a lot of bottoms out there deserve their titles of “lazy bottom” far too often.
It's the end of the year so I thought I'd spend a little time writing some reminders for those who like to bottom to avoid being branded as such. Resolution: To be the best bottom I can be. Here's how!
EDITOR'S NOTE: Today's Just The Tips entry is brought to you by a guest writer, Brandon B. of The INQUEERY. Click through to check out his excellent tips, and be sure to read his previous advice on giving good head.
– Brandon B.
To read more on avoiding the lazy bottom label, follow the JUMP:
For starters there is your ass itself. An ass to a bottom is like a tail to a peacock. It should be attractive and in shape, in whatever manner you feel that is for you. If there was a way to exercise your dick and make it bigger, you totally would… so why neglect your ass? You don't have to be a juice monkey at the gym to have a nice ass. A few squats or donkey kicks a day will keep your serving tray nice and fuckable. Remember to stretch too; flexibility is attractive for obvious reasons!
Then there is your butt hair. Some guys like hairless asses whereas others prefer a fuzzy hole. If you decide you want to shave it, then there are two things to remember; razor burn isn't cute and stubble is sharp! I'd suggest buying some Coochy Cream – a shaving cream made specifically for shaving pubes that helps prevent razor burn and in-grown hairs. You'll also have to stay on top of it, so as not to produce stubble. If you aren't sure of the quality of your terrain, slide two fingers back there as if they were a dick dry humping your crack. Ask yourself if it would be comfortable for a dick to be sliding around on that. If your answer is no, then that's probably his answer too.
If you have a sloppy ass then I just can't fuck wit' ya. Shit happens (one of my favorite butt sex tag lines ever), but it can happen a lot less by douching. The Streem Master douches are good ones to use because they aren't too strong like some douches can be. Not douching before you head over to a guys house is unspeakable in my book. Unless you want to chili dog your top (let that one simmer for a minute…) you're gonna want to make sure your ass is free of debris. Just be sure not to rush douching – if you are hasty, you can cause small tears in your rectal wall and introduce the healthy bacteria that your ass uses to digest food into your bloodstream, causing illness. It's also a good idea to give yourself, as my mom so eloquently puts it, a PTA bath before you start sexing (“When you wash your pussy, tits, and ass in the sink”. Thanks for the visual, mom). Once your ass is douched and clean, it becomes much more edible in the eyes of your partner.
There is a saying that I keep in mind when bottoming – “Walk a mile in someone else's shoes.” I refer to myself as a pancake because I like to flip positions. I also like having syrup licked off of me, but that's a post for a different time. Topping is great for a bottom to do from time to time, because it puts you in a different mindset. By topping you are able to assume an “outsider” role and see what works or doesn't work for a top (in this case you). Remember to keep track of different positions, movements, sounds and thrusting speeds that felt good or bad. You can then take that experience with you into the bedroom and apply it the next time you bottom for someone to avoid the bad and focus on the good!
So stop just laying there! The things you can do as a bottom to drive your top crazy are endless if you apply yourself. I don't want to hear the term lazy bottom ever again! Engage your partner and be energetic, and fuck his dick like it was the last one on Earth.
I am curious…what are some tricks that you guys use when you bottom? Tops, what specific things have bottoms done for you that you either loved or hated?
I love to ride a dick…that way I can look into his eyes, control the depth (especially at first) and of course not make the top do all the work….the bonus is i can cover his belly, chest, face or headboard with hot cum….what could be better….
as a Top reading this….I am fairly unimpressed by this article….I thought you would give more details to the bottoms about opening and closing their assholes, making sure to open their cheeks for the top, making sure to hike up their ass and pushing their ass in the air….pushing their ass back into the cock when doing doggie…..when doing missionary..botoms should be grabbing the guys legs to have them thrust harder.
overall rather unimpressed by this rather “easy to write post”
I always get very annoyed with tops who demand bottoms to always douche. Just as you explained there are dangers to douching and I choose not to do it. When I know i’m going to have sex, I pay special attention to what I eat and I manually clean back there and I always end up squeaky clean. Of course, no one wants a shitty kitty but there are ways of getting around tearing skin back there.
Haha…love this article…but wish there some more about techniques rather than etiquettes. How about when you meet someone at a bar? You obviously can’t do a proper douche when you guys are at it…
Someone once told me to take Immodium if I know I’m going to be bottoming – prevents the muscles or whatever it targets (forget the name) from making it messy and also tightens the sphincters as well…
To allen…..most bottoms when going out to a bar and are expecting/hoping to get plowed will usually douche before going out..i know that what i do..and i also wont eat much before i go out so i dont get the urge to go #2
To Pdogg:..thats fine..i know plenty of guys who dont douche and they stay clean and do exactly what u do
To gchotty…i hate riding lol…id rather not ride if i dont have to
I hooked up with the guy who is topping in the picture. He actually bottomed…
I hooked up with the guy who is topping in the picture. He actually bottomed…
great tips
you’ve usually came off as more of a top 😛
This tip is for the big boys of the world. As a big boy, I feel in blogs and things we are ignored. For big boys, there are some deeper things we have to do to be hygienically pleasing to our partners who enjoy plowing ample fields.
First and for most is cleanliness. I have heard this from a lot of my more chubby or bearish friends, ” I wash and take care of myself but there is still odor down there!” This is because as bigger men we sweat more, and the sweat gets trapped in the hairs and follicles, leaving odor behind after cleaning. There are two remedies for this.
One is easy enough done,if you like being a bald beaver. Just shave or wax it. I personally would say to wax because it leaves the area around the waxing nice, soft, and supple. Also, think about getting it professionally done. It may cost more, but I would be scared to rip of my jewels doing it myself.
If you are like me and like to keep some shrubbery in the garden, there is a way to keep it fresh as a summer’s eve (no pun intended). First pube hair requires a regiment just like the hair on your head. Pube hair is generally coarser, and needs a good shampooing. Personally, I find using a face wash like noxema down stairs is a good exfoliating cream that scrubs the hairs and refreshes the skin around the area. make sure you are cleaning around the taint and deep in the crack. let it sit and rinse. Then use your normal body wash to smell sexy.
The last step is important. Condition that area with your hair conditioner. It’s hair, and if you don’t condition it, the area gets dry and the hair gets brittle. No ones wants to munch on dry ass, or come back up with a mouth full of hairy mulch.
These are just a few hygiene tips to make the sex hotter. rock on big boys, rock on.
I’m really extremely flexible, but I think flexibility is really just for show cause I’ve tried things in bed with my flexibility and it just gets really awkward haha. And yes, riding is fun, but I like it when I’m in a position where the guy can really slam my ass himself =)
i dont think lazyness can be bad…
i personal love my top to be in control and be fast hard and rough…. tops can have more control then us bottoms can and do it a lot better and stimulate the both of us more… dont get me wrong riding is great as long as your top is thrusting back its great but either way that is still a 2 way thing…. ok now i need to find a top
i checked out inqueerty and he said the babe who runs manhunt daily asked him to contribute.
i knew dewitt was hot, when are the pics coming dewitt.
I bottom on occasion and when I do, I’m usually prepared… I take the old vibrator for a spin then follwed by a good douche and make sure that I am well lubed way before the fun* begins. My Partner loves to rim me so I would naturally keep things ‘tidy’ down there. I usually get pinned in a comfy position then get my ass into motion when he’s about to cum. He loves it when I clench my ass right before he blows his load. Great Stuff!
As a serious bottom, I feel it’s way important to be totally engaged. My mindset is that it’s all about the top’s dick– it’s power and strength over me. Of course I’m always clean, lubed and ready for penetration. And after douching I think it’s a good idea to add a final cleaning using anal wipes to catch any lingering residue.
I love to get fucked from behind on all fours. Always conscious to squeeze my ass on the dick and push back when he’s thrusting forward– it shows how much I really want it. I also moan with pleasure letting the top know he’s got the moves. Also love to reach back and grab his hot balls and caress the inside of his thighs while I’m getting the ride of my life.
While I totally think that douching would be optimal in a perfect world (especially for felchers and bottoms who are planning on taking really big dicks), douching has legitimate health risks.
For one thing, adding any water into the ass destroys the mucuosal lining which runs throughout, which serves as a natural lubricant, and which serves as your first layer of defense against all forms of STDs. Also, water dries out the skin lining inside and makes the skin easier to tear. It can take up to a week to replenish that mucuosal lining once it has been washed away by water.
A good diet and manual cleaning of you hole before heading out, in my opinion, are better and safer ways to being squeaky clean. Douches aren’t safe to use past your anal cavity (yes, I know the term isnt exactly sexy) and thus won’t get at any loose shit up in your intestines, which any 7inch dick pushes into once passing your second sphincter.
So stay clean the natural way.
While I totally think that douching would be optimal in a perfect world (especially for felchers and bottoms who are planning on taking really big dicks), douching has legitimate health risks.
For one thing, adding any water into the ass destroys the mucuosal lining which runs throughout, which serves as a natural lubricant, and which serves as your first layer of defense against all forms of STDs. Also, water dries out the skin lining inside and makes the skin easier to tear. It can take up to a week to replenish that mucuosal lining once it has been washed away by water.
A good diet and manual cleaning of you hole before heading out, in my opinion, are better and safer ways to being squeaky clean. Douches aren’t safe to use past your anal cavity (yes, I know the term isnt exactly sexy) and thus won’t get at any loose shit up in your intestines, which any 7inch dick pushes into once passing your second sphincter.
So stay clean the natural way.
Thank you, Mike. That’s exactly my point.
Hey Dewitt…any chance of writing up another post like this except giving us some more in-depth advice like “A” mentioned?
“as a Top reading this….I am fairly unimpressed by this article….I thought you would give more details to the bottoms about opening and closing their assholes, making sure to open their cheeks for the top, making sure to hike up their ass and pushing their ass in the air….pushing their ass back into the cock when doing doggie…..when doing missionary..botoms should be grabbing the guys legs to have them thrust harder.”
Things like that? I think many inexperienced bottoms (like me) could learn a lot from pointers/tips given from tops and other ‘experienced’ bottoms. I want to please my top just as much as he wants to please me but it’s easier said than done.