Have you ever tried pissing when you have a raging hard-on? If you have a penis, then the answer is "Of course!" Who hasn’t woken up with morning wood that’s aching to bust out some recycled beer? And unless you’re into watersports, peeing with a boner can be a messy, complicated ordeal.
Fear not, my erect, full-bladdered friends! The site SexHax.com has compiled a list of ways for you to relieve the urge while (hard) rocking your big boy. I have to admit, I’ve done at least three of these maneuvers. Check out SexHax.com for full descriptions, and read all the way to the end for Dr. Queerlove’s additional suggestions. Maybe you’ll find some of them helpful!
– Doctor Q
Photo Credit: Ulf Raynor
For the list of ways to pee with a woody, follow the JUMP:
The Strong Arming
Probably the most common. Grab your hose and hold on tight!
The Lunge
If you’ve got a downward curve to your member, SexHax suggests a simple lunge forward.
The Flying Wallenda
If you happen to live at Cirque du Soleil, this might be just your answer.
The Plank
I’ve definitely done this one before! The hard part is when you’re done and need to stand up again.
The Downward Dog, for all the yoga enthusiasts.
The One Leg Up, for the guys in the Dirrty South.
And The Superman …for anyone who wants to dip their dick into toilet water.
Now, if you happen to be in the middle of a hook-up and you get the sudden urge to tinkle, perhaps you can ask your partner(s) for some assistance. You’d be surprised the things people are willing to do if you ask politely (and suck their dick). For such occasions, Dr. Queerlove recommends the following group maneuvers:
haha, great!
yeah im in that predicament EVERY morning, and i generally use the [strong arming] technique
Heh, I usually do two of them every night, “the Plank”, although I tend to do it one handed, combined with “strong arming” with the other hand. Gets me through that piss I usually have to take at 3-ish in the morning.
Umm…you could just sit down…
Sorry, matty, but if I sat down in that state, I’d be pointing at the gap between the seat and the bowl, and in some pain. I know this from experience.
i usually just pee in the bathtub when i shower lol just let it go everywhere
just kidding…maybe, but would be fun to try some of these tips provided.
LMAO….This is hilarious…strong arming or a half plank…Now if you have a really good raging hard on “The Big H” would work cuz you’d be pointing up like a fountain…I can’t stop laughing!!!
Why not just stand in the damn bath tub! DUH!!
i’m a big fan of crude drawings.
those last two you drew were funny, Dr. Queerlove.
reminded me of my middle school/early high school days.
l.o.l.
“The Plank” and “The Strong Arm” are the two that I use, haha, and I don’t know about sitting down. My dick would be in the water, and that’s just nasty.
Why is the bottom guy in the Roman Fountain wearing high heels??? As for sitting down, depending on how long you are, you wouldn’t be able to bend it in order to get it below the rim of the bowl.
Well…I’m not too shabby in the size department and I have no problem bending it when I sit down…then again, mine sticks straight out when hard, I don’t have a belly slapper like some guys, so I will admit that might be difficult for those guys. Otherwise, I think you’re all not trying hard enough!