My philosophy? Any guy who claims to be a total top is probably just close-minded. In the past, I would have been put off by such a statement, but I've learned over time that even the toppiest tops can become versatile with a little effort. And surprise! Some of them actually want to temporarily ditch the pitching mound and learn how to catch.
If you're a top looking to exercise your versatility, it's best to focus on the physical aspect before anything else. Equipped with nothing but your fingers and some lube, you can begin your exploration, but eventually you'll need to get your ass a dildo.
Yeah, I said it. You wouldn't try qualifying for the Olympics with no practice, so what makes you think your inexperienced ass can just magically take some dick? Start with a smaller model rather than the Moby Dick Realistic Whale model (unless you're planning on fucking a whale, but that's a problem for a different day).
Remember to start slow with your new toy. Jerk off to some of your favorite porn until you're hard and then sit up with the dildo against your ass-crack. After a few minutes of getting used to the sensation, you can move on to lubing up that sucker. Find a position you're comfortable in and start rubbing the tip on your hole. You can even just hold it there for a few seconds. As you begin to adjust, gradually start inserting the dildo in your ass. Do not push any further unless it feels good.
Once you've successfully taken your toy fully inside of you (or as far as you can take it), work your cock until you shoot your load. If possible, in-and-out motions or gyrations are encouraged. If you manage to feel good while doing all of this, then we congratulate you on getting one step closer towards versatility.
Now that you've tackled the physical aspect, you may have the worst part of the mental aspect out of the way–actually wanting to get fucked. Find a patient partner you can trust, and soon you'll be on your way to changing that checkbox on your MANHUNT profile.
– Dewitt
Photo credit: RandyBlue
For the un-cropped version of the photo above, follow the JUMP:
Hey, tops: Try it, you’ll like it!
Seriously, the fact that there are dildos modeled after animal genitalia is thoroughly disturbing.
So, what about guys who say they are total bottoms? Are they just closed-minded as well?
@Ames Hall
Good question. I am also waiting for the answer.
What about guys who only fuck other guys? Are they closed minded as well?
snarky are we? Being picky with your partners is not close minded. But closing yourself off to something as vanilla as bottoming to please the person you’re with, personally, seems close minded. If you plan on only pleasuring yourself do us a favor and just jerk off 😉
that being said if its really that disgusting to you or hurts you thats your choice,don’t do it. But generally it seems total tops are total tops because they have hang ups about what bottoming “represents” to them.
Honestly guys? I think it’s pathetic that we’re arguing about being closed minded in terms of our sexual prefences. Um, hello, don’t gay people suffer from enough discrimination based on our sexual preferences, and isn’t our defense that we “like what we like and make no excuses.” Isn’t decided to top or bottom a similar choice? Are we gonna see top on bottom violence now in the gay community, and arguments that tops are simply gay men who want to avoid wholly admitting their own homosexuality? It’s ridiculous. If I don’t want objects inside my bumbum, that’s my choice and you can read whatever the hell you want into it but it just doesn’t get me off. I didn’t choose to be attracted to topping.
the guy in the pic looks like a yummy top, i dont think id ever want to top him
Accessories like shoes and belts should be versatile… not men. Stick to what you’re good at; that’s my philosophy.
I’m a Bottom because i know i’d be terrible at topping and i don’t have a large enough equipment for it anyways. so there.
I think it’s interesting that someone would suggest that not bottoming means not being able to please your partner. If bottoming is so great, why should someone who is a bottom complain?
Furthermore – why should I do something I don’t like doing just for his sake, when there are lots of things we both like doing that we could do instead? That makes no sense.
There are enough btms in this world already !!! Please dont start converting the tops to be btm !!! That will be sad …
This was an interesting article, but as someone who is listed as vers/bttm, I don’t want the few tops out there to go away, so keep on topping guys!
Street corner psychology is exactly that… street corner psychology. Fives dollars and ten minutes for all your needs. I wouldn’t go to a major psychological publication looking for a write up on the newest sex toys, and I don’t come to manhunt for advise on psychological issues.
I think the author made a “stab” at the psychological emasculation that some “total tops” suffer from when they contemplate bottoming.
Life happens, man, just roll with it.
I must agree with Jack – it’s disturbing…but funny.
I think it’s also funny that supposedly “total tops” need to practice with a dildo because their asses have never had a dick before.
Isn’t that true of ALL bottoms, in the beginning? If guys who turn out to be bottoms can learn to handle it without ever using a dildo, why isn’t that true of tops learning to bottom?
(Simple answer: They had this picture of a guy sticking a dildo in his ass and had to make up some bullshit text to go along with it to pretend it’s not what it is – JO porn.
Seriously ?! Some like taking some like giving.
If youre a total top or bottom. ITS WHAT YOU LIKE. Sounds like the writer of this collum is lil bottom wishin he was more of a top. if youre vers, good for you. us tops stick to topping, bottoms stick to bottoming. its just how some of us fuck. it works out quite well.
in my experience, the best tops have learned a few tricks by being a bottom. how can a top know what makes a bottom feel good without ever having been fucked?
What is the name of the model?
“My philosophy? Any guy who claims to be a total gay is probably just close-minded. In the past, I would have been put off by such a statement, but I’ve learned over time that even the gayest gays can become bisexual with a little effort. And surprise! Some of them actually want to temporarily ditch the butt action and learn how to enjoy a va-jay-jay.”
we should all be versatile AND bisexual. how much fun would that be! until then…
I think this whole thing is ridiculous. I don’t think you have to try bottoming to be a more effective top, and I certainly don’t think it’s a psychological issue for those of us who prefer topping; it’s just the way it goes.
I’m all up for a blog that pairs woods of the week with intelligent discourse but Dewitts not really qualified on the intelligent discourse bit. Stick to porn Dew. Please.
It’s all about what pleases you, and your partner. The truth is that some men are Tops, Bottoms, or Versitle. End of story.
Speaking on behalf of all the TRUE TOPS ones who never bottom . Just remeber a happy bttm is a btm who has a big top !!
@usrfrndly They find out by asking 😛
how can you guys say there are only a few tops out there? thats all i run into. maybe its my appearance, which i cant help…
also, so what if a guy will only top. good for him. if thats what he likes then thats it. doesnt mean he’s closed minded. it just means he enjoys being a top. and if you want to be with him, i guess you better bend over. sacrafices must be made for the one you love and if he loves you, eventually he’ll come around. but dont beg him or anything. although, if you always want to bottom, he might not know that you wanna switch it up. i think serious talks outside of the bedroom might fix this.
Open your mind…Maybe you start out a bottom and your taste changes…Or Like sum of us who develope prostate issues the last thing we want to do is bottom…So I find it is best to not judge tops bottoms or vers..people are who they are….
How about an article on improving your “toppiness.” I’m a bottom mostly because I get nervous when topping a guy and shrink like a violet. Any tips for getting in the saddle and staying on?
I think the article presented something interesting to consider. Dewitt was not asking you to take his words for scientific truth. He was trying to open an interesting discourse. Lighten up, gays! If the blog was only porn, it’d be boring.
Frankly, I can relate to this article. I’m more submissive by nature but have been forced into being a top because bottoming is too painful for me (thanks internal hemorrhoids). So when I top I feel like a bit of a fake. Yet if I am submissive, as I want to be, dudes get into it and then are like, ‘WTF, I cant fuck you?’
AWKWARD.
I think everyone should try it at least twice before deciding they’re a “total top,” but truth is it’s not for everyone.
I usually bottom because of, shall we say, technical difficulties (plus I really like it), but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a part of me that wants to top sometimes.
Why trying so hard to conform everyone into your lifestyle?? I though women were complicated but I guess it is gay men who are complicated. Just be who you want to be top/bot/vers it is all goood as long as you want to be that way. Please don’t try to change anyone
I’ve never commented before but couldn’t help myself this time…
The idea of turning everyone versatile distresses me… mostly because – I’m not! The fact that I will not/can not/could not top has *ruined* a relationship that I had with a man who was most assuredly ‘totally versatile’ as he put it.
I will not top. I have some hang-ups about my dick, biggest being that it’s sensitive to some things and not to others… biggest sensitivity being to *squeezing*. Topping *HURTS* even with the flappiest bottom (and yes, I’ve tried it before). It’s not an actual medical problem… it’s just how the sensation’s processed (yep, I asked my doc, once… great conversation that was, she was put off completely).
I can not top. I don’t stay hard enough because it’s not a ‘sexy’ thing to me. I get absolutely no enjoyment out of it and, surprise surprise, my dick’s not big enough. However when I bottom… it’s the hardest my cock gets, and I can orgasm/cum *almost always* without stimulation to my dick.
I guess I’m lucky, though?
I have absolutely no *interest* in topping another guy, just as I have absolutely no interest in having sex with a woman. It’s on the same level of distaste for me.
Now all I have to do is actually *find* a top. There aren’t any anymore! They’re all top/verse or versatile, and quite plainly uninterested in an unmatched partner 🙁
This whole idea that “everyone’s a little versatile” is as ridiculous as the similar “everyone’s a little bisexual.” It’s quite simply false (Unless I’m the frickin exception to BOTH rules… in which case there WILL be hell to pay D:<). Not everyone has to enjoy, or even *want* to enjoy, bottoming to be 'gay.'
Anybody knows who is this model on the picture?
Please help 🙂