For all my talk about taking dicks left and right, I’m actually pretty picky about who I let fuck me. Topping has always come naturally to me, but bottoming has always required the right man. I’m not saying that we have to be in love or anything, but there needs to be a certain level of chemistry. And he needs to do more than just sit around with a hard dick.
There’s nothing worse than a lazy top, and you know exactly who I’m talking about. These are the kind of guys who simply lay back while you ride their cock, unwilling to put in an ounce of energy. They think they’re providing you a service by giving you a schlong to slobber on, but they don’t realize that sex is a two way street.
Many of us have made the mistake of hooking up with this guy. After all, it’s an easy trap to fall into, considering that these guys are usually gorgeous and equipped with all the right tools to make you moan. The only problem? They don’t know how to utilize all that gorgeousness for the good of mankind. In particular, mankind’s prostate.
Please don’t be one of those guys. If another man’s going to offer up his ass, at least put some effort into giving him a decent pounding. I’m not saying you have to be rough or anything, but it’s a shame to make him do all the work. Just something for you to think about!
– Dewitt
Photo credit: Bel Ami Online
To check out Luke Hamill and Keanu Faria in action, follow the JUMP:
YESSSSSS DEWITT!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSSS!!!!!!
I have a policy that I’ve had for sometime I never EVER ride a guy until he’s at least put in some work with another position!!!
You can usually spot these lazy bastards quickly because the first thing they always say or try to do is have you ride them!
As someone who has, from time to time been a lazy top, I think you should also have a post about lazy bottoms. Y’know, the guys with a great ass who flop on their stomachs the second you pull down their drawers and expect you to do all the work. (Not that I haven’t been guilty of that sin a time or two as well.) Really, I swear, sometimes I’m not lazy in either position . . . .
Right on Dewitt!! And KLB you have a point also. Maybe this should be Just the Tips: Lazy Sexual Partners. I can’t stand being the one doing all the work in either position, I think it just kind of makes things awkward.
i actually don’t even like being ridden, the guys that have tried usually end up doing it at the wrong angle and and up hurting my dick a bit and turning me off.
@Russ exactly.
Russ, agreed. Worst thing in the world is if they’re going at it and move too far forward/backwards/sideways/whatever and you get that moment where your dick tries to fold in half. Not cool. So, yeah, I agree, at the least have to be sure they’re accurate/skilled before I’m gonna trust my dick’s well-being and safety to a wild cowboy.
Well said, Tommy!
Hahaha. Yes indeed!
Dewitt maybe its beccause U have never been with a TRUE top because we TRUE tops FUCK like we work HARD !!!
As a bottom I would like to add to Tommy’s comment. When I was a youngster of just 18 (half my life ago) and thought that I was God’s gift to tops I thought that all I had to do was suck the top off for a while and then lay there because after all, I brought the hot ass to the party. (I actually read a skin mag while getting fucked once – I have no idea if the sex was good or not.)
Now that I have gained a little wisdom and maturity I have come to realize that I would much rather have sex with guys who want the EXPERIENCE of working for the orgasm rather than just focusing on the orgasm itself. There is so much more fun and pleasure to be had along the way that you miss if you just let the other person do everything.
i like riding… >.>
Can we have a post about selfish tops? Or tops that try to overcompensate for being gay by being overly aggressive in bed? I mean, c’mon,not everyone likes to be jackhammer fucked.
the guys who just lay back and let the other guy do ALL the work are “star-fish” they come as both tops and bottems and both are a bit of a dull fuck
i’m pretty sure 90% of these guys that are complaining about things that can be easily fixed if they communicate with their partner? 🙂
Let’s face it, the issue isn’t lazy tops/bottoms; it’s a lack of chemistry or attraction. I’ve been with lazy bottoms and could’ve fixed it and given more effort to get the other guy involved, but I just didn’t care enough to try to spark a fire. Not even to elevate the relationship to simple fuck-buddy status.
U guys all have a point, I just can’t stand a lazy fuck period…sex should be enjoyable, pleasurable & above all else, FUN & if a sexual partner can’t be ne of those things then there’s just no use in even try’n point blank period!!!
I have a lazy top guy I like bottoming for, but he’s just not into the action… He’s got an 8 inch penis but no passion. Now I avoid him like the plague because I don’t know how to tell him he’s not getting me off, just making me regret every second I’m in bed with him… It’s unfortunate but it happens!!
I am total top and have had those guys that when they ride my dick, they just sit there like a bump on a log and I just can’t get the rhythm going to even attain orgasm. And when I try to suggest we change positions, they prefer to ride. The best fuck session, at least for me, is to change positions a few times. That way, I get a chance to “cool off” as we are changing and the sex lasts a little bit longer. Sort of like edging.
OMFG, then talk about lazy bottoms!! My ex used to make me do all the work as a top. I even got him on top so i could have a chance to actually be a lazy top for once and i still ended up doing ALL of the work- i’m not even kidding- he was above me and did not move a muscle! Needless to say that didn’t last long.
I’m anything but a lazy top, in fact most guys ask me how i manage to get so deep ;P
I call them corpse fucks, and when I run into a corpse bottom, I fuck him really hard, with vindictive rage to make him pay for his laziness… Unfortunately, sometimes they seem to love that! Odd punishment… LOL
I think there are lazy tops and lazy bottoms. Being a bottom, if a man can do some of the work and expects me to do it all, I’m telling to get the F*** off me.
I totally agree…I’ve always believed in the adage that “having a big dick and BEING a big dick often go together”. It is truely the gifted MAN who is blessed with a large endowment and is a great and compassionate lover as well. Fellas: Take note.
YEARNER! YOU’RE HILARIOUS!! ….and i do the same damn thing! lol.
Amen! I’m a vers/bottom, and I have NEVER had any complaints about being a bad bottom or top. Sex is definitely a two way road, so both have to give up the energy needed to have a great time.
As far as being ridden… I don’t typically enjoy it. Guys tend to lay down and hop on and just rock back and forth. It’s sexy to see him enjoying himself, but I can’t feel a damn thing most of the time.
Being in my early 20s and having figured this out, its a bit sad that a lot of other guys older than me haven’t.
Too many men with beautiful hard cocks don’t feel they have to put any effort into it simply because they are so well endowed. I’ve fallen for it more than once.
I agree with most comments noted on here. I have had my moments of laziness in both categories but not often though. I am well active in all ASSpects. To compensate for that problem, I mostly search for partners who are completely versatile. I am a versatile man and if some total top or some total bottom comes to me bringing their game, I tell them that I am either a total top or total bottom as well. For the simple reason of the laziness. Its sad to say but its true, they just unzip do their business zip up and move on. I have been a guilty man of some one way sex when im sexually frustrated. But being versatile, I make sure that even if the chemistry is not there in the end, what is done is done and we are both walking away knowing that we got something out of the game. Plus I think versatile flip fucking is just awesome and fun and it makes the sexual encounter last longer and feel good. Not to sound cocky of myself but from all the compliments I have ever gotten from men (from your slim build younger guys to your heavy set older men), one quote still remains dear to me “why do I feel so comfortable around you?” I must be doing something good..aside from having the nice looks and decent attributes. I guess I know how to understand someones incapabilities, know how to play the game, and make sure that atleast someone (most of the time my partner) walks out happily satisfied. I seem to get off sometimes (not intimately but in general) doing things for others and not accepting in return but knowing that they are happy for what they got. That happiness makes me happy in the end.
Well this is all good and swell … but by the time you’re at his place, naked and discovered that’s he’s a lazy top/btm/whatever, isn’t it a bit late?
How about some tips on detecting a lazy partner BEFOREhand?
@ Marcos
Mate, take your story to Dr Phil
Oh and as far as me fucking with my cock. Because of its shape (a down curvature). Sometimes I HAVE TO lay on my back and be in the lazy position so that my partner can adjust and get comfortable riding my dick. But then Ill move on into other positions where I know that I will get maximum effect. Like Doggy-style, my curvature seems to ride along the prostate rather well making the sensation interesting on my bottom partner. 🙂
@ Yearner
And that’s your definition of punishment? You’ve got a lot to learn if you think getting fucked hard is what most bottoms DON’T want …
@ Marcos
Thank you for your long, tedious posts. But in case you didn’t realise, this discussion board isn’t all about you. Maybe juts contribute to the topic and move on?
Done and Done!
@ Marcos
BOR-RING!
I actually really like Marcos post(s). I don’t have a problem with guys sharing on here.
I personally have come to the conclusion that most total tops and most total bottoms are just plain selfish, in general. Total bottoms just want you to ravish them, without be willing (or bold enough) to return the favor. And a lot of guys who bill themselves as tops are basically bottoms who just don’t like to get anally penetrated. Versatility is the key, for me. (Plus, like they say, it takes a good bottom to make a great top, lol).
Fucking a “dead fish” is just like eating a dead fish. Yuck! I’d rather be with somebody who’s a bit less attractive and a whole lot more passionate between the sheets.
I consider myself a Top who wants nothing more then to please my partner. When i hear the sound of a Man enjoying sex, then all is well. Being with either a lazy Top, or Bottom only makes the entire event boring, who wants that. I agree with some of the others who say that it’s about communicating with your partner is the only way to enjoy sex. We can and should ask for what we want.
Hey, Dewitt.
I love your posts — they are always interesting and thought-provoking.
I wish you would do one some day on anal hygiene, lol. It has been a preoccupation of mine lately. I have NEVER seen a porn movie where even the slightest sign of crap is present; however, lately, it has been a rare event in real life when crap hasn’t been an issue. Don’t most guys who want to bottom realize that there are some steps you should (ideally) take before hooking up (and I am not just talking about soaping up your butt)? In my book, a crappy bottom is twenty times worse than a lazy one, lol. And it would be interesting if you could publish a post or two about the preparation that goes on behind the scenes at a porn shoot, if for no other reason than to remind guys about what needs to happen, and to give ’em a few tips of the trade…
@ sam
Thank you very much for understanding my voice. I do apologize to everyone for writing a novel, the words just started to slip into my fingers and onto the keys cuz I felt like I could relate. And noone should criticize my ideas. TO ALL THEIR OWN…everyone is entitled to their opinion. And yeah, you had me at hello with a discussion on anal hygiene. Such a personal matter that noone really wants to encounter…but SHIT happens doesnt it.
I Agree with jack hammer I`ve always been on top & FUCK!! deep long exstended sessions!
Now that I want to experience it from the Bttm FUCK theres NO talent out there!!
Just male buy products!!!
@ Sam / @ Marcos
Although I would agree with you about the need for better Anal Hygiene, do you have anything to suggest besides douching? Cause douching, while it can clean you up, is not good for you health (makes you more susceptible to HIV and other STI transmission). But if you have another interesting idea I’d like to hear it.
Being lazy in either position is a total turn off. If you can’t put some effort into it, say so and go do something that you can get into. Good sex is all about good communication. Speak your desires…and if they can’t be accomodated, move on because there is no shortage of replacements available.
Hey, Mike. Thanks for the note. I guess that was one of the reasons I was hoping Dewitt would make a post about it — I thought it would be interesting (and helpful) to hear what actually happens behind-the-scenes at a porn shoot, since I’ve never seen any signs of a problem in porn.
People are probably going to laugh at me for putting this out there, but I think if you exercise regularly and eat a really healthy, high-fiber diet — well, that is 1/2 the battle, in my opinion. Unfortunately, I think a lot of guys eat a lot of junk food, which pretty much just clogs up the system. If I have a really hot date coming up, I make sure that I have eaten really well (fruits, vegetables, etc), and done some hard working out. I personally also like either the ol’ Fleet Enema (Rite Aid sells a really cheap version — 4 for about $2 bucks), or (again, people are going to laugh), but I happen to like Wild Berry flavored Metamucil (lol!) (again, Rite Aid sells a cheaper version) – the Enemas work right away, but the Metamucil has to be taken the day before. Also, I have found that doing some “prep” work helps a ton – like actually taking the shower nozzle, a finger, and some soap up there, or, better yet, using a dildo a few times before the date – this really helps to make sure everything is clean, smooth and squeeky. 🙂
I know it is an embarrassing subject, and I hope too many guys don’t take me to task — just trying to help, and offering my suggestions…
Porn stars usually use those over-the-counter enemas (however as in real life, different stars use different routes) that you can get at your local pharmacy. They take about thirty minutes to fully flush out and then a simple pure water douche should do the trick…
Also and quiet obviously the healthier and the better your diet the less likely you’ll have that drip drop problem later on in your fucking session…
It’s good to avoid pastas and starches as they tend to be problematic for a lot of people’s digestive systems.
lol, Andy! I totally agree (see my post above!), and it has been my experience also that eating a healthy diet is the bulk of the battle. Though, my problem of late, has been with guys with chunky, messy crap up there, not with the “drip”, lol. 🙂 You would think more guys out there (especially experienced guys) would know the courtesy and convenience of the enema, hehehe. 🙂 I guess I am just tired of all the fantasy that goes on out there, without folks dealing with the “reality”, which is often quite messy (and frequently disgusting)…
Im in total agreement SAM don’t know how I missed your comment above mine : ) Yeah, I think if there were a sign of a lazy bottom it’s clearly the ones (I’m not one) who are unwilling to put in the necessary prep work that goes into a REALLY GOOD bottoming experience!!!
OMG … where the hell do you find all these skanks that don’t know how to clean properly???
I can’t say that it’s n-e-v-e-r happened, but it’s very rare indeed. And when it does, the bottom is usually more horrified than I am.
well said, Andy. 🙂 (and a really good topping experience, too!)
That goes for all you lazy bottoms too, trying moving and giving me a different angle to plow your ass, ow and more lube please that’s another excuse for me to shove my cock in your mouth (to shut you up) or just leave.
I think after reading this blog I’m going to change to just sucking.This way no one can think you are lazy and no crap worries.
@ Mike M
@ sam
@ Andy
You guys are in the right direction. To be a clean bottom, part of the key is DIETING. 2nd thing would be to using enemas and not douches (so I read somewhere). Because like someone on here mentioned youre more susceptible to HIV and other infections because youre flushing many good bacterias out of your system. Douching is good, but to an extent. Dont douche daily. Just when you need to bottom. Fibers, colon cleansers, detox kits. Those all help in flushing your system without doing unnecessary damage either.
As far as the porn world is concerned. Like most other movies, it is to fulfill a fantasy. Men have a taste for something so the porn industry is going to find something out there to make it possible. Im sure there are scat movies but youll never see me watch it. And the technologies of today have made it possible so that we don’t have to see the messy cleanups in between each scene/set. And if you think youve seen squeaky clean in all the movies. Get ahold of Hot House’s “Paging Dr. Finger” and watch the 4-way versatile sex scene about 22-24 mins in when the guys are getting ready to blow their loads. The last one to blow his load (Trevor Knight-who was being a lazy top in the last part of the scene lol) notices as piece of chocolate land on his thigh as his bottom pulled out from riding Trevor. He quickly turns over to remove the condom and the stain almost unnoticed to finish his scene.
I just go with the flow! If I am with an aggressive top, I will let him do it all! If Im with a lazy Top, I will do it all! Everyone has to be something. Be it lazy or a worker. I like both. Lots of fun times finding out.
To share our bodies so intimately with anther should be a gift given and gift received and treated as such, I think of sexas sharing helps me remain thankful and grateful, and the nmore fun my partner and i havem thge more gratefukl i feel and the more i anticipate a return visit. Lastly,i find that tendereness and really good kissing go much further towared pleasin =g me than any size cock. But then i’m a romantic through and through. Wild asbandon can make for a hot nite too if both parties are into it that way. again there is a lot to be said for communication,both verebal and nonmverbal.Some of you guys have made me hot just reading your words, now that’s sexy. Good day to all
Hank is right – where are you guys finding all these filthy skanks who crap all over you???
I can’t say grotty holes is a problem that I come across with any frequency. Maybe you need to choose a better class of bottom?
You are so right!
These tops never consider whether the bottom even likes to sit on a cock.
It does feel good, but not nearly as good as getting mounted and pounded into the sheets.
Has it ever occurred to you guys that the “lazy” top or bottom you’re with might just not be that into you, and therefore, might not really be making an effort? I’m pretty sure they’d do something differently if presented with the man of their dreams. Think about it.
I’ve hooked up a couple of times in the distant past with guys that aren’t that hot and they’ve just been so grateful – I’ve just sat back and let them do all the work. They still pile on the compliments afterwards, which can be embarrassing (for them) when I haven’t even made an effort.
P.S.
– thank you, Manhunt, for the gratuitous porn shots above that really have nothing at all to do with the topic for discussion.
lol, James and Hank! It’s not that they crap all over you (!). For me, it’s that you get in there, and there is all this other stuff in there, too – or worse, you pull out, and find you have a lot of crap all over your condom (sorry to be so gross). For me, that is a total turn-off, and definitely the sign of a “lazy bottom”.
Ben clearly your proof positive of the lazy bastards we’re on here talking about! You are such a narcissist in these comments:
“…you’re with might just be not that into” then the bastards (you included) shouldn’t do us ordinary shmoes any favor, keep your pity fuck I’d rather be with a guy who is into sex and pleasure for both rather than a complete douche who things he’s god’s gift!!!
You’ve got some temerity, and I feel bad for any guy that has fucked you and thanked you for absolutely nothing!!!!
Good Day!
@ Andy – Mate, you managed to totally miss the point.
The point I’m making is this: perhaps the top/btm is not in fact “lazy”, but just not that into you. And it’s for that reason that he’s half-hearted about putting in a decent effort. Like I said, consider how the “lazy” guy would be different if presented with his dream man.
I’ve done this myself a couple of times in the past, so if this makes me a narcissist, then so be it. But my post wasn’t about me – I was making a point that might be worth thinking about when you’re trying to figure out WHY?