While cruising on Manhunt one afternoon, I started getting extremely anxious and hungry… for a sandwich. Although I had been in the middle of exchanging messages with a slightly older man who lived a few towns over, it only seemed practical to take a small break and head to the deli around the corner.
Upon my return, I noticed five new messages in my Manhunt inbox. One of them was from a really cute guy, who just happened to live a little farther than I'd normally travel. The other four were sent by the man I had been chatting with earlier. The first message was perfectly normal. And then they got progressively weirder.
Somewhere along the way, he sent the following: "where the fuck did U go?? if U werent into me, U should have said so. grow some balls and be a man cuz UR wasting my time." It had been less than ten minutes since our last interaction. Now granted I didn't send him a message to tell him I'd be right back, but it's not like I disappeared altogether.
You really have nothing to gain by bitching people out like this. I say this to anyone who's written these sort of messages. As frustrated as you might be from not getting a response, it's seriously not going to help your case if you react in this fashion. Not to mention that you have no clue why this guy didn't respond…
Perhaps he received an urgent call from a friend or family member, saying that someone he knows was rushed to the hospital. Maybe a pipe in his bathroom exploded all over the place. Or it's quite possible–whether you want to recognize it or not–that he's just not that into you. Whatever the case may be, throwing such harsh words his way will ensure that you never get into his pants. And that's all I have to say on this matter.
– Dewitt
Photo credit: Sex Gaymes
To see more pics from this mostly irrelevant set, follow the JUMP:
For the record, I did choose this photo series for a reason. After all, the model is wearing a watch. We can only guess that he doesn't take too kindly to people wasting his time.
Ugh..I can’t stand when guys on manhunt do shit like that, especially when they know you live more than 20 – 30 miles away! sorry, but I’m gonna need a little more info, before I drop everything, and drive an hour or more out of my way for sex. If I send anyone an email on manhunt, I don’t expect them to respond right away….oh and I LOVE those pics!!! Manuel DeBoxer is soooooo HOTT!! 😀
i can agree with this posting. but on the other hand i think people in general have lost proper etiquette. for example if you’re going to step away.. say so. at the very least (and for those of us that are lazy) there is a button you can hit that sends a “not interested” message. i’m just sayin..while no one likes to be bitched out.. it sucks when chatting with someone they disappear for no apparent reason (even if they arent interested)
A guy I had been emailing just the other day suddenly “disappeared” on me after saying he was interested. When I didn’t hear from him for awhile, I sent a *polite* email, asking him simply to let me know if he had lost interest. I heard nothing. So … feeling irked, I wrote to him from a separate email address pretending to be someone else. He replied immediately that he was looking…. There is NO REASON for people to be that rude, but it certainly does reveal a lot, doesn’t it?
Well, nobody has an obligation to respond or explain to anyone why they didn answer on timely manner. I know it sounds rude to sudden disappear but there no commitment in conversation whatsoever.
I have done it few times when a guy seems too agressive and is pushing you to meet him as if you dont do it, the world as we know it will come to an end. More often a guy is pushing a blame on you for withdrawl as if you are married to him. A person may lose interest at anytime. I have lost interest when I walked into a guy’s bedroom and as soon as we take close off, my insticts tells me not to do. I follow my insticts and it does not matter at how far we have gone: I can still lose interest.
Meeting someone and sex is not a social obligation. So I many choose to take my time to respond. If a guy doesnt like it, he can go and jump off the bridge.
BTW the guy got hot ass.
Dewitt is right … give a guy the benefit of the doubt. Things do happen, and showing some understanding can lead to more, even making a good friend instead of just a quick piece of ass.
By the by, pics of Manuel DeBoxer are never irrelevant 😉
I usually don’t let things like this bother me cause there are so many guys that i’m interested in or like. So if one disappears there is always another one for another time…If he disappears or ignores me I automatically assume he’s not interested and I move on.
Tend to immediately ignore the people who can’t add an extra letter or 2 to complete an already small enough word.
U R A QT. You, are, a, retard.
Those are some HOT nipple rings!
I think it’s always a good idea to treat people with respect in any situation. I try to abide by that treat him like you’d like him to treat you rule. I think the very nature of online communication makes one forget you’re dealing with another human being.
how about guys that simply block you when you simply say hi … can’t simply say not interested … at least wait for an email rant before blocking … don’t get guys like that …
I find the sequence of progressively ruder emails to be rude form, however, if you have been chatting with someone exchanging back and forth, then it’s rude to leave without saying something – akin to hanging up the phone without saying goodbye.
i lke tht it bothrs ppl when I shortn small wrds welcome to msn talk
I agree, for the most part. It’s common courtesy to let someone know your going to be AFK (away from keyboard) for a while, if possible. On the other hand, there are also times when I’ve had my computer freeze up or crash or lost power or something else go wrong and I was absent for a while without explanation.
Dave, I definitely agree with you. I hate the short-cuts people use in text messages. It implies a lack of education and basic English and/or grammar skills. An educated man is a turn on; someone who can’t type a sentence without using “u” or “ur” instead of you or your (or you’re) is a turn-off.
Also, the model is hot, but I could do without the lip piercing. It makes it so much more difficult to know how much pressure to apply when nibbling. 🙂
(Emoticons are a different animal, needless to say.) 😉
Manuel DeBoxer is hot as hell!
A lot of cell phones have a certain number of characters you can use in a single text message, which is why people shorten the words. It’s annoying to have to send more than one message for a single sentence, especially if you were short enough characters for only 1 or 2 words. And before you rant about, if you have that much to say, why don’t you just call them. Maybe you’re in the library or something where you don’t want to/can’t talk out loud. I know a few people that will turn a quick phone call into an hour(s) long conversation, so I text them to avoid getting trapped lol. Oops, I used an abbreviation. 🙂
I definetly agree that it’s common courtesy to let them know you’re going afk for a bit, but i also agree that it’s rude and weird to send bitchy emails just because someone didn’t respond fast enough, and a turn off.
I was dating a guy that would get mad at me because I didn’t answer the phone or respond to text messages while I’m at work……HELLO, I’M AT WORK…..BUSY
Ugh, this has happened to me. Twice. By the same guy.
Literally 52 seconds after sending me a message, I get this: “ok waste of my time, ciao” after which he promptly blocks me.
There are things that happen beyond my control which prevent me from replying within 2 seconds. It’s a complete bitch move to pull.
I hope he doesn’t try for a third time.
I met this guy on manhunt and then added him on msn cause he didnt have credits on manhunt. The next day he msg me saying he doesnt realize who I am because I took my pic off and he said that he has ten million people on his msn and he cant recognize me if I dont put my pic up, and he started going on this rant about me being a player and blah blah…if he had given me a chance I would explain that when you sign in on another device msn uses a default pic but he was an ass so I just blocked him, douche bag
I really have nothing to add, but that man is fucken stunning. Holy shit
I agree with others that it is a common courtesy to leave a message that you will step away from the the computer but it is overreacting to completely go on a rant against the “offender.” Just move on…
Whenever several minutes go buy of no chatting I usually ask “are u still there?” if no reply I close out. Usually I get a follow-up message from the guy apologizing explaining what happened.
seriously. it’s not instant messaging. pain in the ass.
This article couldnt have come at a better time. Just sent this to a guy who basically did the same thing to me. Thank Dewitt!
amazingly enough, the people that rant the loudest, are the most douchey, they’re probably the biggest offenders. They’re the ones that will just not respond because they’re not interested and not polite enough to say so, nicely. Shoot, I unlock if someone has unlocked and asks out of courtesy regardless of interest. I’ve been guilty of falling asleep, getting a phone call, paying attention to American Idol or in the bathroom (guess I could bring the puter with me) and failed to advise that I was distracted (squirrel).
I wish MH would put a new clear sound when email arrives in addition to the flashing bar message (configurable of course). I wish MH would make a distinct sound when an IM comes in. In the old IM days, the window pops up which let you know, now it’s just flashed on the main page which doesn’t do anything if you’re using tabs and on another tab. I’ve inadvertently ignored so many frickin IMs … while not quite in the rude camp, it makes me sad, that might have been the best hookup ever that I missed, but I digress.
There already is a distinct sound for an IM.
Manhunt just added sounds for emails. Make sure you have the settings and correct plugin activated.
I’m perfectly fine with this kind of bad behavior. Yeah, it sucks, but it immediately shows that the guy is someone I would not like to get to know. Now THAT saves time!
There are times when you don’t have time to tell the person you have to leave for a bit. I’m sure, as Dewitt pointed out, that if a pipe burst in the bathroom you would not spend time to tell the person. Or a phone call. I’ve had this happen before. It shows what they really are and I’m better off without them.
My bigger beef (pun intended) is when they tell you they are really into you, but when it comes time to meet, then they disappear. THAT is a total waste of my time. And there are way too many…. I hate to call them men… queens on here that do just that. Seriously, are you just seeing if guys find you attractive? Then go to a rate a guy site! This is a site to find someone to date, screw around with.. etc. Maybe it only happens to me.
I love this line too. “Is that really you?” No! I pasted a pic of a good looking guy to get your attention! When I show up at your door, you’ll see the real me… OF COURSE IT’S ME! Geez! I’m not as dumb as you! But, I too digress… I’ll go back to my corner now.
I told a much older guy I wasn’t interested. He replied saying that wished the draft was still running because they’d have the perfect body bag for me.
Gotta love the trolls haha
First of all, this is over e-mail. I could understand the man being irate if it was IM, but this was through the fucking e-mail service. There was NO obligation for Dewitt to say he was leaving. If the guy wanted a steady stream of conversation THAT bad (aka, he was obviously insanely desperate, and those men are always bad news), he should have requested an IM chat.
I had one of those once. It was because I was online for a split second but then left. I come back the next day to a bunch of e-mails. I didn’t even talk to the guy and he went on a major rant. Oy vay. Some people. But another thing one has to understand, is some of these men become very desperate to fill that void, and sometimes you (the one being ranted at) could have been that one person at the tail end of a long line of men to ignore them. One has to only show compassion. Take the higher road than them. They will see how big of an asshole they are. IF they’re normal people, that is.
And the thing about abbreviated MSN/text writing. I’m turning 21 here soon, so I’ve grown up with it. It irks me to no end, but I deal, because it’s a fact of humanity (pity). My mom uses it, for fuck sakes :S. Drives me insane. I always insist we talk on the phone instead of text, because I can’t handle the idea of my mother typing like a vapid, brain dead Valley Girl. But, the way I see it, the English language (all language for that matter) has been perfected over countless hundreds of years. Thousands, even. Why the hell are we going to ruin something that is so old? And tried and tested? I’ve talked to a couple of guys before where I’ve straight up told them I can’t talk to them anymore, because I can’t understand what they’re saying, due to the large amount of obscure abbreviations and emoticons. They, of course, got angry. I said bye, and blocked em.
Thought Manuel DeBoxer was posted for the infinity tattoo. Wonder what that impplies??
I feel like this may be a bit of a generational thing, as Ive been BITCHED out for not responding, but it has always been by men who are 20-30years my senior, and I just find it strange when ALL my short profile says is that Im looking for someone MY age, why would you be surprised if Im not looking to small talk with a father figure. I mean…HOW UNATTRACTIVE and desperate, and just indicative of someone with absolutely nothing better to do. What entitles you to my response? Absolutely nothing. It always surprises me how age, sometimes, really doesn’t bring maturity. And how does a person DEMAND RESPECT in such a disrespectful manner. Its just bizarre.
I could go ON and on forever about this, I feel strongly about it. I’m so tired of emotionally unstable, “idealistic” men (whom I have NEVER and will never meet or talk to) suggesting how I ought to behave(toward them or in general), or spend what small amount of time I spend on this site, or any other.
And on the topic of “lyke omg brb lol hi qt a/s/l” WERE ONLINE, soliciting sex. Were not reading Sylvia Plath to each other in bed on a Sunday afternoon.
Amen Nicholas!!!! At the end of the day most of us aren’t english majors so relax about the text speak…
Thank you Nicholas!!! Glad you summed it all up this way.
Agreed. It’s stupid to freak out at someone when you don’t know why they dissapeared. They could have a very good reason.
PS. I totally don’t get how the photo’s are relative to this article… so business on manhunt daily as usual, I guess… LOL
for Jedd (above), the ‘AWAY’ prompt works just as well. I hate when MHer’s forget to turn off their ‘right now’….are they really that horny? Or their ‘after work’…(what 1st,2nd,3rd shift?)…those pictures are hot! I’d drive 100mi to get into those pants!
DEWITT……CAN I GET AN AMEN UP IN HERE
And it could also be that he ran out of free emails on MH…not everyone is a paying member. Those 10 free emails a day get used up quickly.
I actually disagree, for what it is worth. However, everyone is different, and each person approaches MH differently. Based on my experience, there is a ton of game-playing and really rude, obnoxious behavior on this site (because people don’t really have to take responsibility for their actions). I personally think that if you hit someone up, and start exchanging messages (even if these are just e-mails), you should be polite and let someone know if you are going to step away for a moment. Sure, it is possible your grandmother passed away, or you got an emergency phone call, but let’s be serious. We’ve all heard those “lines” before. Given the nature of the site, and the typical interactions (i.e., getting hit up, or asked out, only to have the guy disappear on you), I personally don’t think it is unreasonable for someone to assume you were just flaking out (and wasting his time), and to get pissed off.
I have to agree with CarterSteele I have had guys block me after I said hello them…thats happened to me a few times on this site or having an e-mail deleted unread when I was sending them a compliment…I so fucking hate that rude shit.
I think the only problems I’ve had are when guys don’t understand what I’m not interested means. I’ve had a couple of guys that I exchanged e-mails with where I said from the beginning I wasn’t interested, hell, even my profile said “not looking” but they replied they “just liked talking”. So we kept e-mailing and eventually, one guy would not stop asking when I was coming over to his place, and the other finally bitched me out about “leading him on” when I wasn’t interested in meeting up…
Granted, I really shouldn’t have believed that anyone on Manhunt “just wanted to talk”, but now I just reply not interested to the first e-mail and delete the rest.
My pet peeve is guys who simply ignore you when you say hi. My feeling is that if someone says hi to me, I will always have the courtesy to respond, even if it’s just a polite “no thanks”. Simple manners go a very long way on a site like this, they cost you nothing, and they distinguish the class from the trash.
.. what did you say… i was distracted by the hot guy.. damnn…. i am 90% top but i min i saw this pic, i thought , i would let him fuck me! DAMnn
I agree Sam, what some guys find absolutely no reason to get upset is actually just common courtesy. My fav is always the guy that says something like, “Hey man, you look great, let’s talk.” then disappears. When you ping him back, no reaction or answer. Then the next day you get “I fell asleep” or “I went to get my dinner” or “fill in the blank.” In the end, it is called common courtesy, ESPECIALLY when the other guy has started the conversation with YOU to start with!
BUT
this one: “I told a much older guy I wasn’t interested. He replied saying that wished the draft was still running because they’d have the perfect body bag for me.
Gotta love the trolls haha
Posted by: vector_objects”
That’s simply outrageous, its a sex site, and literally wishing someone dead over it is beyond words. Perspective I guess is the key to all of this: being polite, even in a TXT kind of world, never goes out of style.
I didn’t have too much more to add short of I agree with Dewitt, Rechlo. It would be great and polite if we all had time to respond to every MH message we were sent, but shit happens. Networks break, computers break, browsers refresh at different intervals, friends come over or we got distracted. Can we all just give each other the benefit of the doubt and not take it personally? I think we owe to each other to just blatantly play games, but only drama and trouble come from when we assume responses in the absence of one.
Whoops, missing a couple important words, let me rephrase that:
“I think we owe it to each other not to blatantly play games, but only drama and trouble come from when we assume responses in the absence of one.”
Have had same happen with the odd off wall responses if dont answer email that moment. Yes many get panties in bunch when you don’t respond right away or say go to other room or someone at door, call, or realize have to get trash cans out. Based upon some of the messages would make me wonder how they act face to face if you were to say, “sorry not my type,” or you forgot to say in profile that picture was from 20 years ago.
If it is an IM, I say, have to go and thank them and when will be back or ask if can IM them later.
One of the amazing replies in my opion would be the infamous “YOUR LOSS,” or “why,” when you say sorry not my type.
Other thing that point that gets me going is the subject line used rather than email message and it is one word, say some damn thing! Dont make it appear you are conducting a mass emailing to the entire county or a shotgun approach to getting response..
nothing really comes to my mind, in terms of a proper response to your Tip, at the moment.
so no entertaining, comment-stream_ending rants on my part, Mister D.
i’d been taking note of the previous comments, of course.
I completely agree with daddycentaur and Bohemond. It’s not really about not replying immediately – more like not replying at all. I’ve also had my fair share of guys my age (I’m 23) either not bothering to reply, even if I fit most of their criteria, or deleting the unread message. Being an average-built gay guy is a bitch.
Then again if they were that shallow I don’t think I’d like to meet them.
incidentally…
…that Manuel sure is something else.
isn’t he?
(and, to refer to the previous blog post about nipple rings: i am okay with his having two small hoops.
:-D.
how could i say no to Manny, anyway?)