Manhunt Daily’s Picks For 2013 Song of The Summer

Some folks consider Labor Day the unofficial end of the summer season, so with that in mind, is there a more appropriate time than now to buck down and decide, once and for all, which song defined the past few months for you? Popular opinion would indicate that Robin Thicke‘s “Blurred Lines” ruled these sunny days with an iron fist (or, one could say, a foam finger). Although the Billboard charts would surely support this claim, your ears might not personally agree with this assessment. Or maybe they do.

Whatever the case, the Manhunt Daily staff has put our ears together to deliver our ten individual picks for 2013 Song of The Summer. Did your favorite tune make the list? Scroll on down to find out, and if not, you’re welcome to leave a scathing comment about its omission.

– Dewitt

Check out the Manhunt Daily staff’s picks for 2013 Song of the Summer:

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ROBIN THICKE – “Blurred Lines”:

DIEGO: Dewitt has asked me to share with you my Song of the Summer for 2013. You may be surprised as it’s a little ditty you may not have heard, “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke. Seriously, if you haven’t heard this tune at least 900 times since July, you may have to consider moving from your cozy studio apt. under that rock. PS – My real song of the summer for 2013 (and every summer since 1985) is the Golden Girls theme song. Don’t judge, you’re singing it in your head right now.

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FOL CHEN – “A Tourist Town”:

LAWRENCE: There’s a lot going on in Fol Chen’s “A Tourist Town”, which gets my vote for Song of the Summer. There’s something that sounds like a sitar and something that sounds like a harpsichord, and there’s also what their PR person must describe as “lyrically dense storytelling”, because every review I’ve read of their album uses that exact phrase, for some reason. Singer Sinosa Loa says that it’s boring and the weather’s cold, and the chorus is about getting drunk alone, but that hasn’t stopped me from playing it several times a day for the past few months. Summer! The bleakest season.

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CIARA + NICKY MINAJ – “I’m Out”:

BOULANGERIÉ KNOWLES: Now you just KNOW Ms. Boulangerié Knowles was torn as FUCK over choosing this hot-ass banger, the Ying Yang Twins’ “Miley Cyrus” and the sound of Liam Payne from One Direction‘s BALLS bouncing against my chin, but I had to give it to my girls CiCi and Nicki for turning it OUT and putting my pussy to WERK whenever this song came on. I can’t even BEGIN to tell y’all how many times I did anal with this track on. I JUST CAN’T! Too many DICKS to count.

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PORTUGAL. THE MAN – “Creep In A T-Shirt”:

CHARLEY FLYNN: “Creep in a T-Shirt” by Portugal. The Man. It’s people arriving at a summer grilling party on a rooftop in Brooklyn music, it makes me think of England, and the chorus is “I’m just a creep in a t-shirt, jeans I don’t fucking care”, which is often how I feel about t-shirts and jeans. Because getting dressed is, so often, an undeniable trial. Especially in summer.

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LADY GAGA – “Applause”:

GAY EVAN: Ignorant bloggers and the archaic US Billboard charts might show little respect to Mother Monster’s latest masterpiece, but the world has spoken and welcomed “Applause” with open paws. Skeptics might argue that this piece of ARTPOP came out too late to be proclaimed Song of the Summer. This is irrelevant! We have all been talking about “Applause” and ARTPOP for months now, so I think it’s clear that Katy Perry is a trashy cunt and Lady Gaga was the undisputed Queen of Summer.

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MAJOR LAZER – “Bubble Butt”:

DEWITT’S DICK: I am a dick, so I do not have ears! What I do know is that I stood up at full attention for Manhunt Daily‘s twerking contest, and while I think Kirby should have won over Jake Cruise, the point here is that I like butts and songs about them make me want to say “hi” to a butt. Bye! I am a penis.

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MILEY CYRUS – “We Can’t Stop”:

NAME REDACTED, THE INTERN: After being stuck in captivity for two and a half months—raped by a clown, violated in both ends and forced to pleasure myself with large dildos—I have missed the majority of summer and, therefore, am not fully capable of selecting the 2013 Song of Summer. However, Dewitt played me this song though while he was ramming me over his desk this morning, and it empowered me to embrace my inner slut and move on with life after the torrential abuse of my captor. I bet the live performances of this will be great!

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BIBIO – “À tout à l’heure”:

DEWITT’S BUTTHOLE: Much like my dear colleague Dewitt’s Dick, it’s a rather preposterous idea to request that I select the Song of the Summer, as I do not possess the aural capacity to do so. Even so, I thought it most suitable to choose a soothing composition with a kick of rhythm. This offering from Bibio‘s Silver Wilkinson coats me in waves of relaxation, allowing me to prepare for a hard, deep and thoroughly rough pounding. Very well then! I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

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NATALIA KILLS – “Saturday Night”:

J. HARVEY: It is a massive injustice that this song wasn’t blaring out of errybody’s car, cubicle, window, ear buds, party, and karaoke mike this summer. I pray for an Icona Pop-like-sudden-hit-after-being-released-a-year-ago situation. The “I had a bizarre childhood but ain’t no thang” lyrics are heartfelt, the mighty chorus is sing-a-long, and Ms. Kills has tremendous nipples in the video. Her chickens are done, but this song will never be.

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MUTYA KEISHA SIOBHAN – “Flatline”:

DEWITT: “Flatline”, an offering from the artists formerly known as the Sugababes, calls to mind the unique sensuality of Solange’s “Losing You” and Sky Ferreira’s “Everything Is Embarrassing” (which is no coincidence since all three songs were produced by musical mastermind Dev Hynes). There’s nothing particularly sensual about these songs’ lyrical content, but for whatever reason, they all make me want to bone.

The weird thing is, I didn’t always love “Flatline”. Several of my favorite pop music critics praised the song when it first came out, leading me to scratch my head and wonder what I was missing. When it finally sunk in that I loved everything about this track, I longed to get back all those days I spent not listening to it.

That’s sort of how I feel about summer in general. I’ll bitch and moan about the heat and complain that it’s overrated, then come September, I’m looking back on all those lost days I should have spent soaking up the sunshine. Oops! Maybe I’ll learn from my mistakes and fix this next year. Maybe, just maybe.

(Not that you care, but my alternate picks are Neko Case’s “Man“, HAIM’s “The Wire“, The Preatures’ “Is This How You Feel?” and Garçon Garçon’s “Instant Attraction“.)

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