Manhunt’s Exclusive Interview With Bryan Safi From “That’s Gay”

The Emmy-winning Bryan Safi is (was? *sad face*) the host of InfoMania’s “That’s Gay” segment. It’s where Bryan regularly skewered some of the more ridiculous aspects of gay culture and haughtily slapped his evening glove across the face of the homophobic population.

I use “was” and “-ed” because Current TV cancelled InfoMania. Why does everything good get shut down? There’s some whore on ABC right now trying to choose which guy to fake fall in love with and 8 million people are watching that shit. Bryan’s bit was actually entertaining! It’s heterosexism in the entertainment community, I say! Fuck The Bachelorette! Except that creeper who wore the mask. He was a genius.

Anyway, back to Mr. Safi. Bryan obviously paid Jesus off because he’s both cute and witty. Bastard. He was nice enough to consent to answer most of our ridiculous questions about himself and “That’s Gay.” Well, what else is he going to do – he’s out of a job. Dewitt said that. I kid, I kid!

The only question he didn’t answer was the one where we asked him if he’d ever used Manhunt to hook up. No one ever answers that question. We’ve got 4,000,000+ members, but no one seems to use the site? So you like dick and you like a site that makes it easy to get some. It’s not like you watch The Bachelorette. THAT’s something to be ashamed of.

– J. Harvey

For our exclusive interview with the charming and snarky Bryan Safi, Follow the JUMP:

Was your InfoMania job having revolved around being gay ever a chore for you?

Yes! I can’t tell you how mad it makes me to host a segment called “That’s Gay” and to then have people ask me about being gay. I was blind-sighted by that. [Ed. note – I think he meant “blindsided,” but YOU correct a celebrity.]

No, it’s really not. It’s always fun to laugh at stupid people saying stupid things. And I think more and more people are laughing at the hypocrisy and idiocy of people like Michele and Marcus Bachmann and hate-mongers like Pat Robertson or Maggie Gallagher. And I think the best way to react to people like that is laughing in their fucking faces.

Hot! Did you ever learn anything surprising about the gay community whilst working on the segment?

That they think I look like a cross between Robert Downey, Jr. and Chaz Bono. So, thanks?

But also that it’s an incredibly large community. And it’s a group of people who take issues seriously but who also love some snark. But it’s strange that even today, it’s a community largely without a voice.

Has anyone you mocked on InfoMania ever let you know what they thought of your mockery?

Yes! I think any kind of take-down must seem like flattery. Ultimately, these people who live to give horrible sound bytes want to be heard so badly by absolutely anyone willing to listen. When I did the Johnny Weir piece, I heard from the commentator who called him a “prima ballerina on the ice.” It was such a horrible thing to say, but he sent me a note saying, “I saw your piece and loved it!” I thought, “you did? I was making fun of you for saying something really cruel!” But people love attention. So don’t pay them any.

You’re witty and super-cute on TV and the Internetz, have you gotten any fan mail that was sexual in nature and were you flattered, repulsed or immediately on the horn with the police?

I’m lucky to get a lot of fan mail from a lot of stunning people. I’ve gotten some love letters, dick pics, ass shots, and just yesterday someone offered to take me on a shopping spree – at the Gap. It was the single greatest moment of my extremely glamorous life.

I also get a lot of hate mail. Those are the people who really send me the hot and sexy messages. Stuff like, “Hey fucker, I wanna clamp hard on your dick and then slit your throat.” Or, “Hey faggot, I wanna stuff my dick in your mouth and bend you over and fuck you til you die.” So, it’s really the haters who capture my heart.

What about pictures? What’s the most ridiculous or gross picture a fan’s sent to you? Did it involve unicorns? Can we pretend it did?

Someone named Rei Sato sent me this picture! (Attached) Literally every person I’ve talked to has said this picture looks like a better-looking version of me. Rei made me look like Reichen Lemkuehl which hey, no complaints there. I wish I had that jaw line.

Okay, so you’re a really smart guy (is it too obvious that we’re trying to flatter your pants off?)… Have you ever had a crush on someone who’s SUPER dumb?

I once dated a guy who asked me who Jimmy Carter was. And then I stopped seeing him. I mean, we ended up dating for a few more months, but the point is that eventually I stopped seeing him. After he broke up with me.

Have you ever had sex at the InfoMania offices? With a man. We don’t need to hear about sex with a woman.

I exclusively have sex at the infoMania offices. I can only be aroused while listening to the voice of Keith Olbermann.

Have you ever used Manhunt to hookup?

Sorry, my roast is burning! Be right back. [Ed. note – SEE?]

When it comes to men, what rates higher – being able to make you laugh or a giant cock?

Okay, I’m back. What were we talking about? Oh yes, laughter or a dick. I would say I want the best of both worlds – laughter and a great dick. So, my answer is a dick with a great sense of humor. You know that thing where you can draw a mustache on a penis, put a tiny mic in front of it and then pretend it’s telling jokes? That thing gets me off the most.

Name a politician whose policies you don’t agree with, yet he totally gives you a boner.

Congrats, Manhunt! You’ve figured out the smartest way of asking someone who they’d like to bone ever. Seriously, you should ask this to the Pulitzer candidates. I can’t even think of a pro-gay politician I think is hunky, much less a right-wing stud. I guess I have to go with Judge Judy.

Would you ever pose nude for money? Hey, it worked for Levi Johnston, right?

Another Levi Johnston comparison?! This happens ALL THE TIME. I’d totally pose naked for pics, but I think I’d probably have to pay people to actually look at them.

You have to have sex with either Brett, Ben or Sergio [Ed. note – Bryan’s co-hosts on InfoMania. In the pic, Brett is in front, Ben is on the left, and Sergio is on the right]. Which one and why?

I have to admit, I’ve never ever been attracted to straight dudes. In my head, if I sense that someone’s straight, any attraction immediately shuts off. Why would I do that to myself? So, obviously Erin. She’s also the most masculine one of them all.

Do you think Brett has ever had a homosexual experience? He’s totes cute.

Do you know how many times I’ve had to answer this question? I had no idea so many dudes got boners for Brett. The thing is, Brett’s an incredibly open-minded guy, brilliant, attractive. So I guess he is sort of gay except that’s he’s not. You’d have to ask him about any homosexual experience, but I bet he’s had a homosensual experience.

Do you have any overtly “butch” qualities?

Besides my voice and my mannerisms?

You have a fucking Emmy. We didn’t realize that until now. If you were to win a second Emmy, what would it be for?

Answering these questions. Especially the sex ones. I should win an award for that.

We don’t know what we’re going to do without any new “That’s Gay!” clips. Is there any possibility of the series continuing online? In other words, what’s next for you?

Cocaine, most likely. Probably a little alcoholism peppered with a Xanax addiction as well. Anything goes, really!

But sure, I think “That’s Gay” can totally continue! It was a lot of fun to do, and I’d love to find a new home for it. But in the meantime, I’m doing a college tour with Erin Gibson this fall. It’s called “How to Be a Lady and a Gay Person: A Feminist-y and Homosexual-ish Guide to Living in America.” You can find out more here: http://www.safiandgibson.com/. I also am tearing Marcus Bachmann’s shit up in Funny or Die videos like this one.  And I’m also doing a live show in LA on August 14th at the UCB Theatre.

So, lots of stuff coming up. I’d say twitter is the best place to find everything out. You can follow me at @bryansafi.

Thanks so much, Bryan. You are hot and funny and we want to fuck you before and after you say witty things about Real Housewives and homophobic politicians! Here are some of Bryan’s “That’s Gay” clips.