Now Presenting: The 2013 “Get Inside Me Now” Award

You can’t look back when you’re making a list like this. After careful consideration and multiple mugs of coffee, I listened to my gut and chose the top ten gay porn performers who made me scream “Get Inside Me Now” this year. There were no doubts about my first two choices—James Jamesson and Paddy O’Brian—but beyond that I kept mulling over the positions of the eight remaining men and, in some cases, whether they should be here at all.

(See last year’s list here.)

My biggest internal debate, however, was about including performers who are versatile (or who regularly practice versatility). You could feasibly argue that a few of these guys belong on the “Flip-Fucker of The Year” countdown, but in my perception, they were more likely to bring out my inner bottom and put me in the mood to get pounded.

Who knows, though? Maybe I’m wrong about all of this! The whole point of these rankings is for you to reminisce on your year of masturbatory bliss, then leave annoying comments about who was horrifically snubbed or write detailed essays about how my number one pick signifies the end of gay culture as we know it, and I should probably be thrown in jail for my poor life choices…

Oy! Can you tell I have major insecurity over making lists like this?

– Dewitt

Photo credit: Raging Stallion

Check out the ten men who made me scream “Get Inside Me Now” in 2013:

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10. TOMMY DEFENDI:

It was painful to choose this final slot. Names like Kris Evans, Angel Rock, Woody Fox, Connor Maguire, Boomer Banks, Colby Jansen, Bravo Delta and Charlie Harding floated through my mind on an endless loop. There was even a point where I considered less likely contenders like Tyler Reed or Maximillion Kong.

Eventually, I had no choice but to listen to my body. It was a little shy and quiet at first, but with some prodding, it started to call out “Tommy Defendi” on repeat. My body told me that, if I had time, I would have written a post about how Tommy was 2013’s undeniable “Butt-Muncher of The Year“, and while he may have bottomed or flipped from time to time, it was in the dominant role that he truly excelled.

Thanks for the advice, body! You’re totally right about this.

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9. ABE:

Was I the only person obsessed with Abe this year? Were there any hotter tops on Sean Cody in 2013? (Okay, okay! Maybe Jess.) I’m well aware that he’ll never be able to fill the gaping void left by Jarek, but for someone who I initially wrote off as “not my type”, he’s doing a damn good job at proving me wrong.

I still haven’t fully recovered from the time he took on Spencer‘s fuzzy bubble butt, and while he may have been upstaged by that tiny ginger twink Colt, his name still echoes in my head as someone who deserves to be on the “Get Inside Me Now” countdown.

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8. TIM KRUGER:

It’s easy to forget that Tim Kruger‘s so damn hot, since most of his scenes on Tim Tales place the emphasis on the bottom he’s fucking. We do, however, get a front row seat to watching his dick slide in and out of their holes! If that isn’t enough to tingle your “Get Inside Me Now” senses, then we seriously don’t know what could. In that case, you might want to accept that you’re a total top…

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7. COLBY KELLER:

Don’t ask me why Colby Keller isn’t on the 2013 “Flip-Fucker of The Year” countdown! He’s probably one of the most versatile men listed in this top ten, and while I know plenty of folks prefer him as a bottom, something clicked this year where I just wanted him to throw me against a wall, devour my hole and fuck me ’til we both collapsed.

Did the In Bed With Colby Keller series have anything to do with it? Perhaps! I’m only willing to bottom for someone who knows what he’s doing, and with both practice and research under his belt, Colby seems like he’d know all the right buttons to push.

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6. AUSTIN WILDE:

After his break-up with Anthony Romero, a large portion of Guys In Sweatpants‘ content revolved around dudes getting fucked by Austin Wilde. The site brought us a ton of exciting new faces, and whether it was the product of Austin’s modesty or our own skewed perspective, we felt like the focus became less about Austin and more about his partners. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. He, of course, remained as flawless as ever.

Austin’s integral role in Christian Wilde‘s bottoming debut might be the highlight of his 2013 career (aside from, you know, launching his own very successful site). The scene topped our list of the “Best Virgins & First-Timers” of 2013, and to be honest, we’re not sure that would have happened if it weren’t Austin who popped Christian’s cherry.

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5. GABRIEL CLARK:

You want the truth? The whole truth and nothing but the truth? Okay, fine! My extreme love for Gabriel Clark‘s ass hurt his position on this countdown. It’s not as if I looked at him as less of a top after scenes where he bottomed for Paddy O’Brian, Woody Fox and Colby Keller. It’s just that, well, the image of his lightly fuzzy hole is fresh on my mind. Whenever I think of the name Gabriel Clark, I get visions of him sprawled out on his stomach instead of the usual visions of his face buried in a hot bottom’s ass.

This is not a bad thing. I’m not saying, by any means, that Gabriel Clark should stop bottoming to save his reputation. He remains one of the best tops in the gay porn industry, but when I thought “Get Inside Me Now” this year, it just so happened the the four names below popped into my head before Gabriel. You know what I mean?

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4. ANDREW STARK:

If you don’t know about the scene where Andrew Stark lines four boys up against a locker and fucks them one by one, then you clearly haven’t been paying attention to this blog in 2013. It earned Andrew fifth place on our “Best Dicks of 2013” roundup, and if it weren’t for Kris Evans and the Kinky Angels, he would have reigned victorious with the “Best Group Scene of 2013“.

Thanks to a few boner-worthy clips as a bottom, Andrew’s name was considered for the 2013 “Flip-Fucker of The Year” award, but in the grand scheme of things, I firmly believe he shined the most as a top. Remember the “Hanky Code” threesome where he got super bossy with Duncan Black and Mike De Marko? That scene, paired with the locker room one, might be enough to justify his placement on this particular list.

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3. AUSTIN WOLF:

Austin Wolf is very strong. He might not be as well-hung as some guys on this list, but he could hold you down and throw you around without violating your sense of security. It should also be noted that he won the 2013 International Escort Award for “Best Top” earlier this year, proving that every deep thrust and enthusiastic rimjob he provides for Randy Blue isn’t just for the camera’s sake.

Some highlights of his 2013 career include—1) Stretching open Chris Rockway for his first bottoming scene in three years, 2) Playing dirty director with Justin Owen, and 3) Being generally flawless in scenes with Abele Place, Caleb Strong, Brett Swanson and Sean Zevran.

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2. JAMES JAMESSON:

I feel like I can count the number of scenes James Jamesson released in 2013 on both hands, but I would need to grow a few extra limbs to count the amount of times I jerked off to those scenes. Whether trimmed neatly or so unruly you could lose a small pet inside of his beard, my submissive fantasies often involved sliding my hole down onto James’ thick shaft (which took the top prize on our “Best Dicks of 2013” countdown).

James seems like the type of guy who’d push your limits as a bottom. He’d fuck you a few minutes longer than you thought you could take it, then pull out and make you long for the feeling of his cock back inside of you. You’d beg for more, and he’d tease your ass until you’re on the verge of a breakdown. Then he’d slam all the way in and make you scream, until you get so into it that you’re pushing back and asking for it harder.

This might not be an accurate description of what James is like in bed, but it’s an accurate description of how I’d want him to be with me. My only concern, moving forward, is that his beard will grow so long in 2014 that it swallows the world whole. We’ll have to wait and see! Anything could happen.

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1. PADDY O’BRIAN:

Next to Lukas Ridgeston‘s comeback, the gay porn history books will hold up Paddy O’Brian‘s bottoming debut as one of the most important developments of 2013. You voted him as the hottest participant in MEN.COM‘s “Top To Bottom” series, and with no disrespect to Charlie Harding or Topher “It Hurts” DiMaggio, I’m fairly confident he’d keep that title even if we redid our poll with their names on it.

Paddy’s flip-fuck with Gabriel Clark topped our 2013 Flipping Out countdown, and with rumors swirling that he’ll be exploring his versatility some more in 2014, you might be wondering why the hell we’d decide to give him the “Get Inside Me Now” award.

The answer, it turns out, is kind of simple. Within the past year, Paddy has completed his long-running transformation from an aesthetically pleasing physical specimen to a legitimately amazing gay porn performer. He approaches every scene with passion and enthusiasm, which can’t be said for fellow models with gay-for-pay roots (or even some models who are actually 100% gay).

My selection of Paddy has nothing to do with a fetishization of straight, bisexual or curious men. This is merely giving credit where it’s due, and if you disagree with the decision, then you clearly haven’t been paying attention to what Paddy’s been up to over the past twelve months.

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