The fourth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race will premiere this January! Though it’s no secret that we’re a big fan of the show here at Manhunt Daily, there’s a pretty good chance that we won’t be recapping each episode this time around. We could go off on the laundry list of reasons why it’s not practical—too time-consuming, not enough traffic, not enough penises—but we don’t want to bore you.
Instead, why don’t you let the newest contestants bore you! We went through all thirteen of this season’s intro videos and jotted down a few of our thoughts. Why? Because we hate ourselves. Also, because some of you live for this! So what do you say, fans? Do these queens get you pumped for the next season?
– Dewitt
To meet this season’s contestants, follow the JUMP:
THE PRINCESS: You know the one surefire way to ensure that we’ll judge you? Refer to yourself as “The Princess”. Though we appreciate the dichotomy between the frilly name and the edgier look, it all seems too forced to us. And as soon as she mentioned “rock and roll”, we just kept getting flashbacks to Raja…
JIGGLY CALIENTE: We had two initial reactions to Jiggly. First, we wanted to tell her to stop playing with her fucking wig. Then we wanted to hug her, because there’s something extremely endearing about her awkwardness that made us like her. She says things along the lines of, “I will attack you like a rabid beast”, yet somehow we’re still not convinced. Maybe she’s waiting until the show to unleash the beast?
WILLAM: Willam was a breath of fresh air after watching the intro videos for The Princess and Jiggly Caliente. Her words seem mostly genuine, rather than pulled from a book on what a contestant for RuPaul’s Drag Race *should* be. As far as we’re concerned, she’s either a frontrunner or someone who’ll be eliminated early for failing to live up to her expertise.
PHI PHI O’HARA: Some corners of the Internet have graced this self-proclaimed “fierce bitch” with the casual nickname “Shanelle 2.0”. While we can see (and hear) some of the similarities, we get the sense that Phi Phi’s style is a little more Philadelphia than Vegas showgirl. Also, her boobs aren’t quite as terrifying.
LATRICE ROYALE: Forget what Adam Levine, Cee-Lo Green, Christina Aguilera or Blake Shelton told you! This is the voice. Latrice won us over from the moment she opened her mouth, even if her “fembot” look for the show’s trailer didn’t represent to our standards… BUT THAT VOICE!
DIDA RITZ: We had a warm fuzzy feeling after watching Dida’s introduction, and then we completely forgot about her. We’re not saying that to be shady! Given the number of scene-stealers on this upcoming season, Dida’s going to need a lot more than her legs to stay on top. We wish her the best of luck. And we hope she makes more faces like this.
CHAD MICHAELS: We’re not entirely convinced that Chad Michaels isn’t the real Cher.
KENYA MICHAELS: We know what some of you are thinking—“The token Puerto Rican girl! Do they really need to do this every season?” Well, the folks at RuPaul’s Drag Race are two steps ahead of you! They cast two token Puerto Rican girls, so now you can’t call them tokens anymore!
LASHAUWN BEYOND: This girl is obviously amazing, solely based on the fact that her name is Lashauwn Beyond. Though she claims to be “nice”, we’re hoping she’s got a whole lot of shade up her sleeve… And by hoping, we mean that she probably does.
MADAME LAQUEER: Laqueer has garnered comparisons to everyone from universally disliked contestant Mimi Imfurst to universally beloved puppet Marionetta Fuego. She doesn’t come off as America’s next drag superstar, but we’re curious to see how she develops on the show.
MILAN: Don’t look at us like that! This is what Milan gets for having the least SEO-friendly name of this season’s contestants. Much like Willam, we appreciate how genuine she comes across in her clip, and we expect that she’ll quickly become a fan favorite.
SHARON NEEDLES: Without a doubt, Sharon Needles is the weirdest Drag Race contestant since season one’s Tammie Brown. One could refer to her aesthetic as Tim Burton meets Marilyn Manson, or just a more-demented version of Lady Gaga… Oh, and did we mention she’s fucking hilarious?
ALISA SUMMERS: We’re exhausted after watching all these damn videos. Apparently Alisa Summers is the “pretty one” or something?
YES, YES, YES.
*ahem* Looks good.
I think I am going to be SICK!
is it me or does Sharon Needles look like Timy Curry as Dr. Frank N’ Furter from Rocky Horror in a blonde wig! Just sayin!!!
I cannot wait for January just for this reason, that’s the T!
i’m a fan favorite too. i have one in my ceiling in my guest bedroom and another on my desk in my study
Who cares what any of the fans think? You’re already one of OUR favorites!
Sharon Needles already won.
sharon needles was on project runway
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Can’t wait!
Bitch betta recap the damn episodes! I love the discussion, deal with it.
Although I’m bummed there wont be a re-cap (I used you guys to watch the show), I’m excited to see the new season underway! Let Mondays be a drag!….I wonder if VH1 is gonna do the show too like they did before…
oh, right… that’s why people don’t take gays seriously… almost forgot
C´mon now..that’s Cher.
I don’t want to hear any bullshit excuses. You better review every freaking episode. The break from all the penis is welcomed once in a while. Besides…what else do you have to do?
…Because some of them like to embrace the art of drag? Not sure where you’re going with this.
Just for you, I will consider it! Sometimes, even *I* need a break from penises pummeling my eyeballs all day long.
Milan look like famous thai dragqueen “madam mod”
Just as weird as seeing someone you know in porn, is seeing someone you know in RuPaul’s Drag Race.
In the words of Susan Powter, “Stop the insanity!!!!!!!!”
token puertorrican person???mmmmm i dont think soo! they pick puertorricans everey season because we’re hot,talented,fierce and entertaining unlike ur writting and oppinions;)