RuPaul’s Drag Race: Jocks In Frocks

What happens when you take five totally heterosexual jocks, throw them in high heels and force them down a runway? If you’re curious to know the answer, then you probably should have tuned in to last night’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race. The four remaining queens, along with one returning contestant, turned a handful of straight dudes into their drag sisters. It was fucking amazing.

Of course, if you really want to talk about amazing, we should skip right ahead to the final “lip-synch for your life” challenge. This was one of the most impressive showdowns since Shangela vs. Sahara Davenport on season two! While we’ve never personally been attracted to drag queens (at least in the sexual sense), there was something incredibly hot about it. Anyone else know what we mean? Also, since we’re asking questions, which straight jock did you think was the cutest? Click through for their before and after pictures…

– Dewitt

To watch this episode and check out the rankings, follow the JUMP:

WATCH NOW:

CATCH UP: Episode 2 – The Queen Who Mopped XMas, Episode 3 – Queens In Space, Episode 4 -Totally Leotarded, Episode 5 – QNN News, Episode 6 -The Snatch Game, Episode 7 – Face, Face, Face of Cakes, Episode 8 – Ru Ha Ha, Episode 9 – Life, Liberty & The Pursuit of Style, Episode 10 – RuPaul-a-Palooza, Episode 11 – RuPaul’s Hair Extravaganza

___________________________________________________________

1. MANILA LUZON & FUSCHIA LUZON (LW – 3, Winner): My notes for Manila Luzon mostly consist of the word “perfect” underlined in all capital letters. We have to owe some of the credit to her drag sister Fuschia (the smokin’ hot redhead in the picture above), but it goes without saying that these two complimented one another to the max. We want to be their best friends. Hard.

2. RAJA & ENIGMA (LW – 2, Chante, You Stay): Don’t get us wrong! We understand why Raja was placed in the bottom two. Her cheetahlicious ensembles didn’t do Enigma any favors, and the overall chemistry just wasn’t there… But, um, did you see that lip-sync to Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up”? We were so fucking surprised that we’ve positioned her toward the top of our list.

3. YARA SOFIA & DREWLITA SOFIA (LW – 1): Even when Yara falls in the middle of the pack, we’re still going to love every single second she’s on our television screen. We’re going to justify her third place finish (ahead of Alexis Mateo) for a job well done on the makeup. Those Madonna-like cheekbones are utterly fabulous.

4. ALEXIS MATEO & AVALS MATEO (LW – 4): Why the fuck are we ranking Alexis Mateo so low? Because we honestly think Avals Mateo upstaged her. Not even kidding! This water polo cutie better be filling out his application for the show’s fourth season. He’s got personality up the wazoo.

5. CARMEN CARRERA & LOLITA CRUZ-CARRERA (LW – 0, Sashay Away): Naked! Naked! Naked! Say what you will about Carmen Carrera, but she’s left a lasting impression on Drag Race history. Our jaws dropped to the ground when she removed the bottom half of her (albeit very tiny) outfit. Does anyone know how to get your hands on the uncensored footage?

Perviness aside, it was quite anticlimactic to have Carmen come back, only to be immediately dismissed within the same episode. There’s no denying that she deserved to go, given nothing was feminine about Lolita Cruz-Carrera. It was basically just a beefy dude in a wig and bikini. We’re guessing Carmen spent way too much time primping herself to worry about catering to her drag sister…