RuPaul’s Drag Race: RuPaul-a-Palooza

Things got musical on last night’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, as the six remaining queens performed covers of RuPaul‘s new single “Superstar”. From punk to reggae, each contestant was assigned their own individual genre to butcher to their utmost potential.

Jody Watley, Carmen Electra and Michelle Visage‘s breasts stepped in as guest judges for this week’s challenge. One of them got so turned on (take a wild guess) that she expressed lusty feelings for a particular competitor, leading to one of the episode’s best quotes–“I guess she wouldn’t need to strap it on”.

Who was the lucky lady referred to in this comment? The number one pick in our rankings, but of course! Click through to find out more…

– Dewitt

To watch this episode and check out the rankings, follow the JUMP:

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CATCH UP: Episode 2 – The Queen Who Mopped XMas, Episode 3 – Queens In Space, Episode 4 -Totally Leotarded, Episode 5 – QNN News, Episode 6 -The Snatch Game, Episode 7 – Face, Face, Face of Cakes, Episode 8 – Ru Ha Ha, Episode 9 – Life, Liberty & The Pursuit of Style

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1. RAJA (LW – 5, Winner): Duh. Raja has repeated the words “artist” and “rock and roll” so many times that we’ve lost count. In fact, there’s one episode where she says both within a twenty-second time frame. Needless to say, it would have been a disaster if she didn’t win this challenge. And she definitely fucking deserved it. This was the most likable we’ve ever seen Raja.

2. MANILA LUZON (LW – 4): Even though Manila’s lip-synch was off from the moment she stepped on stage, we were too busy gawking at her fierce disco outfit to notice. The best Manila moment came during Untucked, right after each contestant was asked who they’d send home. There’s an awkward silence, and all of a sudden you hear Manila–“What a fun challenge!”

3. YARA SOFIA (LW – 3): We don’t even care what she sounded like. Yara put her best foot forward and remained professional throughout the whole challenge. It’s just a shame that her incredibly professional, hard-working foot couldn’t sing. At all.

Of course, we should clarify that her selected genre was “pop”. Let’s be real! There are plenty of pop queens who can’t hit a single note. It’s all about image, and Yara worked it to the max. Also, can we please discuss where she tucked her penis? We’re still confused about that.

4. ALEXIS MATEO (LW – 1): The hip-hop jam was cute! The Lil Kim-inspired outfit and buttloads of padding? Not so much. Even Lil Kim knows that you’re only allowed to expose one boob in public. Otherwise it’s just downright trashy and hooker-tastic.

With that said, it was pretty amazing (and way harsh, Tai) when Alexis called out Carmen. We’re willing to rank her higher on next week’s list if she stops using that “BAM!” catchphrase. I mean, seriously? Did you get jealous of Shangela’s “Halleloo”?

5. SHANGELA (LW – 2, Chante, You Stay): Speaking of which, Shangela’s performance and overall look left us saying anything but “Halleloo”. Even though she turned it out for the lip-synch, we still can’t forgive her for letting these three words slip out of her mouth–“Traditional Jessica Simpson”. There is nothing traditional about Jessica Simpson. Especially when we’re referring to country music.

6. CARMEN CARRERA (LW – 6, Sashay Away): It was kind of painful to tease us with Carmen’s elimination, only to make us sit through another episode of her mediocrity. Sure, being pretty may not be as easy as it looks, but it also doesn’t make up for a shitty attitude and lack of energy. In the words of Shangela, “Miss girl wasn’t female illusion, she was female delusion”.