Secret Sex: Nakia

Earlier this week, my dear co-blogger brought you a rousing edition of Fuck, Marry, Block, starring the judges of NBC’s hit singing competition The Voice. I’ve been watching the show since the very beginning, despite my general reluctance to take on new reality shows. Initially, I was convinced it’d be another bland karaoke competition, a la what’s become of American Idol.

But you know what? It’s actually kind of good. For whatever reason, I’ve become emotionally invested in these contestant. It’s gotten to the point that I get chills every time Dia Frampton steps on stage (even though I don’t buy her whole shy act, given that whole record deal she used to have). I actively want Xenia to stop being awkward. I hate Javier Colon‘s hat. And I died a little inside when they eliminated the cute gay ginger Mormon.

There’s this sense of pride that flows through me knowing that three out of eight semi-finalists were openly GLBT. You guys! We’re living in a world where Adam Lambert was contractually obligated to stay in the closet by Idol. Meanwhile, on this show, half of the final four contestants have freely stated that they’re down with same sex lovin’. Sure, they’re lesboners. But we can still claim that as a “win” for us, especially considering that America voted for them.

However, we can’t ignore that we experienced a loss earlier this week when the show’s last openly gay male contestant hit the chopping block. Nakia was by far one of the most exciting competitors, turning out one high energy performance after another. When I first saw him? He, believe it or not, was not someone I was rushing to hop in bed with. I just thought him and his partner were downright adorable.

This all changed during the battle round, when this burly bear somehow managed to pull off Ne-Yo‘s “Closer”. He solidified his place in my pants when he fell down on his knees during a performance of Kings of Leon‘s “Sex On Fire”. Last but not least, when he kicked the bench out from under him during Adam Lambert’s “Whattaya Want From Me”? I practically came.

I’m a sucker for passionate performers. Mostly because I’m convinced that they’d be passionate lovers… Ugh, “lovers” is such a gross word. I guess the point that I’m trying to make is that Nakia’s boyfriend Robert is probably a very lucky man, and I’m jealous of all the butt sex they’re having together. Maybe they’re in an open relationship? Keeping my fingers crossed, ’cause I’d let them Klondike me in a second.

– Dewitt

To watch Nakia perform (and subsequently pop a boner), follow the JUMP:

My favorite performance – Kings of Leon, “Sex On Fire”:

Eye-fucking the camera – Adam Lambert, “Whattaya Want From Me”:

The Battle Round – Ne-Yo, “Closer”: