Secret Sex: This Random-Ass Dude

To celebrate the release of Lady Gaga‘s “Born This Way”, I had planned on featuring producer RedOne as today’s Secret Sex. Then I realized that the track is actually produced by Fernando Garibay and DJ White Shadow. Oops! Pardon me for not being all up on Gaga’s dick. It was an honest mistake, y’all…

Thankfully, while doing a Google image search for “RedOne”, I came across a picture of this guy. My immediate instinct was to click on it, because… a) he looks totally ridiculous, b) he definitely wasn’t RedOne and c) I would totally let this dude sit on my face.

So there you have it! Today’s edition of Secret Sex isn’t a fraudulent criminal or reality-star twink. It’s just some cubbish fellow who decided to photobomb his lady-friend. And he sort of looks like he’s wearing a diaper. However, I’m going to conveniently ignore that aspect and just stare at his mutton chops and adorable chubby legs.

– Dewitt

10 thoughts on “Secret Sex: This Random-Ass Dude

  1. and c) I would totally let this dude sit on my face.

    You become more disgusting with every post dewitt

  2. When I read:

    c) I would totally let this dude sit on my face.

    I turned around and left the room. Too much info.

    It’s like walking in your parents bedroom while they are having sex.

    Just saying.
    Regards.

  3. It’s been ages since I’ve seen mutton chops on a guy…and hopefully ages more before I see them again.

  4. I’m sorry…what is this “Secret Sex” column supposed to be about? Guys that you want to secretly have sex with? Or guys who are having some sort of secret sex that got exposed? Perhaps a refocus on intent would be a good idea.

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