Nine out of ten dentists have agreed that Eminem is a hot piece of DICK, and the tenth dentist can shove a toothbrush up his ASSHOLE, because he is wronger than anyone has ever been WRONG. My boo Marshall Mathers is serving up Beastie Boys […]
Enrique Iglesias owes me some DICK! That hot motherfucker came over to my house last night straight up BEGGING Ms. Boulangerié Knowles to finger-fuck his man coochie and hit ALL his sweet spots, and you know what I said to him? Hell FUCKING yes! He […]
OH, y’all bitches thought Boulangerié Knowles was DONE writing about porn? FUCK NO! Since I am all about chasing that good DICK, I’m starting a petition for the whole world to get FUCKED by gay porn star Austin Wilde. Tell every motherfucker you know on […]
It ain’t easy being Ms. Boulangerié Knowles! Right after I got quintuple-penetrated by The Wanted, I was wiping Max George‘s CUM off my forehead when these five chicks rolled up looking serious as FUCK. They told me their names were Victoria, Amber, Luna, Sulli and […]
OH, ya’ll didn’t think quintuple-penetration was possible, now DID you? Well Ms. Boulangerié Knowles is here to help you get right with your life and RECOGNIZE that some of us actually know how to take a DICK! For those of you keeping score at home, […]
I just CAN’T with this Katy Perry bitch and her new single “Roar”. How is she gonna come out with some RATCHET Sara Bareilles knockoff and expect us to lap up her poon juices like we’re some sex-crazed kittens? FUCK NO! Ms. Boulangerié Knowles does […]
I had NO clue what the motherfuckers from Mumford & Sons looked like until I got an e-mail from my mama and personal fashion designer Tuná Knowles. She was all like, “Boulangerié, GURL! I am popping my pussy for a pork chop to this song […]
My hole is STILL sore from getting stuffed by all five Backstreet Boys over the weekend, but I was NOT going to say “no” when One Direction‘s manager called me up and asked if I could meet with the boys for a private party. Now, […]
Y’all ain’t EVER gonna believe what happened to me over the weekend! While I was all up at Wendy’s deepthroating a Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger, these five fine motherfuckers rolled up with their DICKS out. My jaw dropped down to the floor, and I was straight […]
HONEY! I just got back from unwindulaxing with Joe Jonas, Nick Jonas and Other Jonas after meeting those hot SLUTS on Manhunt, and you just KNOW that my jaw is gonna be aching for days after swallowing their DICKS down to the base and tonguing […]
