“I’d thoroughly enjoy ripping off his stupid bow-tie and getting him on his knees… He’s one of the more adorable Fox News talking a-holes who need a good pounding.” That’s a direct quote from a Twitter conversation regarding conservative commentator Tucker Carlson. When I asked […]
Tag: Secret Sex
Secret Sex: Cazwell
It’s official! Cazwell can no longer be considered a rapper. Then again, his rhymes are so weak that I’m not sure you could have ever considered him a rapper. But that’s not the point here. After watching his latest music video for “Ice Cream Truck”, […]
Secret Sex: Lieutenant Jim Dangle
No, I don’t want to have sex with Thomas Lennon. My heart belongs to his Lieutenant Jim Dangle, the character he plays on Reno 911. Every time I’m watching reruns of that show, I can’t help wondering what lies within those short-shorts. And the mustache? […]
Secret Sex: Joss Whedon
As much as I have my geeky tendencies, I’ve never been one to follow or ever consider attending Comic-Con. Perhaps I’m not dedicated enough, as I’d prefer the casual geek lifestyle to ultimate fanboy status. There are few things I obsess over that don’t have balls attached […]
Secret Sex: Isaiah Mustafa
Does anyone else have a huge crush on Isaiah Mustafa, also known as the guy from those ridiculous Old Spice commercials? Like, I don’t want to be crude or anything… but I kind of want him to pound the shit out of me. Preferably, he’d […]
Secret Sex: Jesse Eisenberg
Jesse Eisenberg is primarily known for his roles in films like Adventureland and The Squid and the Whale, but his profile’s sure to rise after the premiere of The Social Network. He’ll be playing the part of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, in a dramatic tale […]
Secret Sex: Kevin James
In regards to our Secret Sex column, I’ve tried to avoid featuring too many men of the bearish variety. And why would I ever do such a thing? Because I don’t want anyone to get the idea that lusting after men with extra padding is […]
Secret Sex: Russell Brand
You’re going to think I’m crazy for this one, but I’d totally bang the fuck out of Russell Brand. The British comedian is most known for his role in the 2008 comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall, as well as his engagement to that chick who sang […]
Secret Sex: Kevin McHale
There are plenty of sexy motherfuckers on Glee, but you know who no one ever talks about? Kevin McHale. The former boy band member plays Artie Abrams on the show, and believe it or not… there’s a hot body underneath all those dorky costumes! He was recently […]
Secret Sex: The Klondike Bears
If you’ve ever watched television, you’re probably familiar with the whole “What would you do for a Klondike Bar?” campaign. Basically, it circles around people doing ridiculous shit, in the hopes of stuffing one of these delicious treats into their mouths. And in the latest […]