Everyone’s favorite self-love advice video blogger Davey Wavey just interviewed Olympic gold medal winning diver Matthew Mitcham about jumping into the water from a great height and winning awards for it. First things first, this is a fundamentally dreadful interview in general, let alone with Mitcham. Davey Wavey squanders the chance at real questions, preferring instead to ask about someone else’s ass and making sure he gives a whole lot of air time to his own body under the guise of attempting dives – because his body is his calling card and that’s fine – he looks great naked, and if you’ve got it, flaunt it.
The fact is, I’m not so interested in any interview with Matthew Mitcham anyway, but that’s just me, and it’s understandable if people are interested. After all, Mitcham’s a great diver, and he looks great in a speedo. Cool, done.
There’s just always been something about Davey Wavey that really infuriates me and I am going to try and articulate why right now.
For starters, all his affected, cutesy bullshit (starting with his infantile nickname) and faux spiritual virtue is really just a common technique people use to establish a kind of dominance over others. Vegan martyrs do it at parties all the time. It places them beyond reproach. In this instance, I think it’s his way of passively demanding that you fall in love with him so he can have control and be, in his own mind, superior because of that. I’m speaking about an abstract kind of “falling in love”; not literal love.
Davey Wavey’s content is such that he is a sort of by-default self help guru, and the result of that is that he’s polarizing. On the one hand, he has his followers who love him and, on the other, you have the people who hate him and, if they don’t just outright say it, they tend to feel all this guilt about it like there’s something wrong with them, because they don’t like someone who is really just cute and who talks about self acceptance and health.
Then there’s always that boring, defensive criticism that if you don’t like him or his culture, then you just want to prevent others from being happy and successful because, obviously, you aren’t capable of happiness or success and you’re jaded. I mean, what’s wrong with you that you can’t like someone named Davey Wavey?
Well, what’s wrong with you is that you probably just don’t like being patronized by a narcissistic, self appointed life coach whose simplistic, Carrie Bradshaw-esque insight and false modesty mask a guy who appears to live in a cultural vacuum.
It’s not hard to conclude that Davey Wavey would have had a pretty easy time feeling important and wanted in the gay community, what with that bangin’ body of his which leads to me wonder exactly what he’s experienced and how he’s qualified to be giving out advice about self love and acceptance in the first place. What great leap of self development has he gone through that gave him the insight he so benevolently shares with us?
It’s great that he’s a qualified fitness instructor and has turned that into a business, but the other stuff is just convenient padding that becomes difficult to stomach. You can see it all in his marketing imagery with all that insistent use of his body and face to lure people in and make his life improvement content seem less empty. It’s all just one huge attempt at being adored by people in a really removed way, and he bolsters that effort by being this kind of cutesy professional optimist who is beyond reproach precisely because he’s cutesy and an optimist.
What would make him interesting to me is if he actually got some kind of psychology qualification and/or studied journalism so he could extend what I’m sure is a well-meaning vlog into something that goes beyond a grab at attention and a catering to the lamest components of gay culture and marketing. Of course gay culture loves a super cute, un-challenging optimist with vague ideas about self improvement and a penchant for talking about his own masturbation techniques. I guess it would just be great if his particular brand of emptiness wasn’t QUITE so marketable.
The interesting thing about writing this post is that I feel all this pressure to say healthy things like “Hey, whatever though, let him be happy” and “He’s just trying to be inspirational” and “Yes, I totally admit that I’d love to see him naked” just to protect myself from the criticism that I’m jaded or bitter because I find him aggravating and that must say a lot about my own guilt or self esteem.
The thing is, I’d rather be me than him any day. I, myself, would feel pretty lonely and empty up in there; in his upscale minimalist apartment, standing in front of a mirror, under halogen lights, in the silence, knowing that there are a hundred thousand people who would kill to come over at any moment and have sex with him, but knowing he’s better than every single one of them, so they’ll never be allowed to. Everything is in place, yet still, there’s something not quite right, and no one must ever know about it.
And you know what? Maybe his life IS great, and he’s not secretly angry, and he isn’t a control freak; maybe he’s not any of those things. I guess I just resent that through even seeing his videos, I’m relegated to a subjugated spot on his hierarchy, and I’m made to feel like I am somehow bitter for not buying into it.
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Thank you thank you thank you. Thank you. Did I say “thank you?”
Thank you.
Way to articulate what I had not taken the time to verbalize. heartily agree.
I am really glad you wrote this and I logged on to read it! I have felt awkward being one of the few gays I know who isn’t crazy about about him…
Someone got blocked/ rejected on …
Couldn’t agree more. I also felt guilty saying it because I want to support gay content… but you’re right
Very succinct. Well written.
This was well written and you presented a great argument. But, this is the Internet. Expected people to call you jealous and say you were rejected
Right on. Something never quite struck me about him… like i KNEW I was supposed to like him… but my bf and I just cringe at his antics…
Wow! And I thought I was having a rangy day:-). I’m impressed, and agree with the feeling. Nevertheless more peer to Davy and his fans. They have their place in the world, I’m just allowed not yo fall inlove 🙂
This is the most accurate description of Davey Wavey I’ve seen anywhere. I’m 63 and gay and maybe when ol’ Dave (grow up and drop the kiddie name) gets to be have my age he’ll have experienced a bit of the real world (as compared to the fantasy he’s been living so far). I’ve had a good life but as a gay man it hasn’t always been that great. Yet I’ve struggled to be happy and for the most part I am. But it WAS a struggle. And I don’t really think that Dave is all that happy all the time. I watched his clip with Philip Fusco (who supposedly is straight) and Dave asked Philip to kiss him. After Philip pecks Dave oh so quickly on the cheek like he was afraid of catching the gays Philip said, “I think I’m more straight than I was before.” I don’t know about you guys but that really pissed me off. And it should have pissed off Dave as well. How insulting! How demeaning to the entire LGBT community. And yet Dave continued fo fawn over Philip like a sophomore girl experincing her first blush of puppy love. If he had any self respect or pride (that he claims he has) he would not have let that comment go by and should have used Philips comment as a REAL training video on the more supressed homophobia still prevalent in our society.
It’s interesting that a piece on Davey ends up revealing so much more about the author than the subject. His videos aren’t food for the soul, they’re the equivalent of internet junk food. He’s like a puppy, and some people are just cat people.
But rather than leave it at “not my thing” or accept that its normal to just be turned off by excessive cheeriness, the author tries to find deeper meaning in something that has none, and ends up feeling judged and insecure. I’m sorry, but its just not there. I put no more expectations and feel no more judged by Davey than I do by Judge Judy. And if watching characters on reality TV or YouTube triggers such an introspective crisis, then maybe the problem isn’t on the screen. Maybe the problem is with Charley Flynn.
Finally, someone said it. Thank you.
Wow…though you claim to not be “jaded”, that is exactly what you come off as…well that & envious. Yes, Davey may not appeal to you; but does trying to break down his character (name included) really accomplish anything? No one is forcing you to like him and no one expects you to simply cause you’re gay.
Furthermore you do not personally know Davey (nor do I) and you do not know what he may have been through. You simply see a part of him on screen and make assumptions based on what he “Lets” you see. Obviously one cannot experience all of life’s negativities; but it doesn’t mean they cannot offer a helping hand to those who are in order to put a smile on their face. In my opinion this is what people in general should do for one another…we should help each other. You never know, that small act of kindness & positivity could really help someone.
Oh my gosh. I’ve never been able to pinpoint why I don’t like him, and you did it beautifully. Thank you!
Lmao, reminds me of a fellow coworker. He posted a picture of himself with Magic Johnson with the headline “instead of asking for an autograph like everyone else, I told him about the local AIDS walk, and he said he’ll be there in spirit.” Not only did he tell him about the event that he certainly already have heard about, but he also had to make the point to not ask for the autograph that NO PERSON alive would have judged him for doing.
should have left that post in your diary. you sound like a bitter teenage girl charley. “the popular kids are so shallow and must feel empty and dead inside when they look in the mirror coz they have no real friends.” “Anybody who is happy all the time must not have ever been exposed to anything”… Funny how you say you feel judged by him… so you waste a whole blog judging him back… when in the grand scheme of things… who would care about the opinions of an old jaded porn blogger…
My sentiments exactly. I’ve always gotten a condescending vibe from him – great looks, great body, great attitude but there’s just an air of smugness to him that says “I’m better than you.” And this is coming from someone that has chatted with him on grindr. He just honestly does not seem genuine – like Lady Gaga or other fame whores.
Oh…and here ya go. No need to wonder what’s in those briefs. You’re welcome. http://www.wehoconfidential.com/2013/02/davey-wavey-naked.html#.UkzCgxYktNI
So funny that Ive been thinking this about Davey and Im glad you put it into words.
OMG Yes – this! Definitely not just isolated to davey wavey either but glad you could articulate it. I have friends like this and I don’t mind being friends with them but I know others that IDOLIZE them which is just ridiculous. He’s just like any other person – I hate when people put themselves on pedestals but act so self-righteous
DaveyWavey is his net alias: in one of his vlogs he says his real name is Jonathan. While he looks like a gym rat stripped of body hair (i’m not complaining) who appeals to the overly image-oriented young/hot/hunky set, most of his vlog work is harmless fun and self promotion. He’s supportive of the LGBT community, admits that we come in all shapes, sizes, ages, races and creeds, and appears to genuinely enjoy life. He doesn’t need professional credentials to know/discover who he is, to offer advice and opinion or to share his experience. He’s not my kind of gay, but I’m glad he’s out there in the vlogsphere.
I kinda thought he looked way too plastic. isn’t even that appealing to look at really. good luck to him tho.
My b/f loves him, I’ve never gotten it myself… I intellectually understand that cute face and hot body equals people clicking on the link, but the constant cheeriness and upbeat faux insights to life are… exhausting and vapid.
That said, however annoying I find him, far worse are his devoted legions of fans who, rather than (a) accept there’s probably something disturbingly empty in their lives or (b) accept he’s not everyone’s cup of tea (c) demand that anyone who doesn’t love him must be bitter about rejection. In these comments already. Really quite sad. Different strokes & all that.
First, against my better judgment and my explicit politics, I find Davey Wavey incredibly, incredibly hot. If I could keep a ball gag in his mouth the entire time, I’m *pretty* sure I would have a good time fucking him. Second, one of the first videos I saw from him involved his trip to a bathhouse/sex club. It was so powerfully sexphobic, elitist, ageist, lookist and homonormative, I was horrified. Could *not* take him seriously after that as a spokesperson for any kind of queerness with which I wanted to be associated.
Oh my god – totally. Well said! I saw that video too. It almost felt like he was smug about BEING sexphobic, like it was all so icky and beneath him so he giggled about it and continuously congratulated himself and his friend for being so cute that they were not like everyone else.
I totally agree. Maybe I could buy into him more if he wasn’t constantly in his underwear..which I do enjoy…or his guests didn’t fit the same super cute and fit mold he does. I think it’s why I can buy into Jordan Bach more, who is also a queer advice guy, but comes across as more earnest, humble, and informed. He is probably more attractive than Mr Wavey, but doesn’t flaunt it. He’d be someone that would have an easier time in the gay world solely based on aesthetics too, but he comes across as so genuine and non-judgemental, you buy into it so much more.
I know that this post is a few days old now, but I felt compelled to comment. I can completely understand the viewpoint expressed, but that was not my take on the video at all. I thought his question about having sex with his gold medal was hilarious. It was probably a nice change of pace from having to answer the same questions over and over again. I was a college diver and I know the questions I was asked about diving were very repetitive. Anyway — kudos for Manhunt Daily for putting in different viewpoints (even if I don’t agree with them)
Lighten up man. How deep were you at his age?
Oh I’m glad I didn’t see that one. How old is he? I just put his occasionally annoying behaviour down to him being 21 or something and let it slide. But I still thing it is that. That he is young, and young people are occasionally quite irritating to people 27 and older :p
Also. Homonormative. Best word ever!
I’ve been reading Manhunt Daily pretty faithfully for the past 4 years and I have to say this is probably my favorite thing I’ve ever read on here.
I love the section about how Davey has a really easy time in the gay community and why hes qualified to give help when he’s probably never had to go through any type of hardship in his life. I used to be 240lbs (I’m 5’10) and had terrible acne, I couldn’t get any guys to date me. Now I’m mildly muscular, clean face, and am conventionally attractive and guys hit on me all the time. It sounds super conceited and I know its not a great leap of self development, but it gave me insight onto what its like to be rejected by mainstream gays. I know what its like to want acceptance. And I know what it feels like to be wanted. Davey Wavey is so attractive I don’t think he has ever had to truly deal with not being accepted. How could someone whose never had that experience then turn around and teach people about self love? Why would he need that when everyone loves him? His advice is condescending in the worst way possible, its not even “I know whats best for you” its “I know whats best for you, though I don’t have any experience but look how pretty I am”
I’m a radio producer in Austria and I called up Davey for an interview about Coming Out Day…we chatted and I thought it would be cool for him to attend the Vienna Life Ball so I called a bunch of people and set it up and emails went back and forth furious-like blablabla….them I didn’t hear from him for a long time and ten, I saw a video of him attending the ball with his drag queen sidekick and so I wrote him asking if it was possible that he was in Vienna and didn’t even write to say thank you let alone meet up for a coffee to thank me and he said he hardly had time and that’s when I knew: I was dumb for being kind and he was an asshole.
Putting aside the infantile bashing of Davey, Did you actually expect an in-depth, probing interview from Davey Wavey? This is like when Fox makes fun of Jon Stewart for not asking hard questions of politicians. HELLO he is a comedian. And HELLO Davey is a hot little twink making hot little twink videos. You set your expectations too high.
I am a fan of DW but your comments are intriguing. Well done.
He has talent, looks, genetics and a supportive family he has made the most of.
Not everyone can have that and be that. God forbid you have a small penis or are unsuccessful or are not hot in the davey dimension. But The other half do live.
HA you are so fucking jealous of him its not even healthy
ALL I WANTED TO KNOW WAS HIS REAL NAME. ANYONE?