Jed Athens looks like the type of guy you could take home to your mother. There’s a very sweet quality to the way he photographs, like he should be cast as an extra in an episode of Happy Days. Also, if you scrolled through the comments of this post and looked at all the responses from “Nerdjock11“, you’d be convinced that he’s this humble, nice boy who just so happens to do gay porn.
And then you’d read this post. Turns out, Jed is an insensitive bastard.
Don’t get us wrong! We’re saying that in the most affectionate manner possible! Going into The “Real Man” Project—our new series focusing on masculinity and the concept of a “real man”—we realized that some of the participants would have, shall we say, harsher responses…
When it all comes down to it, we asked Jed to share his honest opinion, and he shared his honest opinion. This is easily one of our most cynical and shocking submissions so far, providing a stark contrast to the piece you read (or should have read) yesterday by fellow gay porn star Dolan Wolf.
So, uh, what do you think of Jed’s answer?
– Dewitt
Photo credit: Jocks Studios
Click through to read Jed’s answer and see more pics:
The question was asked: what makes a man a man? I pondered for a bit and tried to think of a famous person who actually encompasses what a man should be. The only person who really stood out for me was Michael Landon.
(Editor’s Note/Inquiry: This Michael Landon?)
So I decided to base this off of Los Angeles-based men. It’s much more of a reality check for people whom may think LA guys are amazing, and it’s hopefully much more amusing, because the truth is very sad.
I think there are six key main components when it comes to a man being a man, and anything extra are goodies. Besides idolized features like a huge cock, bubble butt, abs for days and chiseled features, these are the six I have came up with…
Number one: Reliability. When he says something, he does it. In Los Angeles, there is a shear lack of responsibility for one’s actions. Most guys are flakes.
Number two: Strong, both physically and mentally. Los Angeles is the land of the pretty, muscly and surgically-altered. Being mentally strong is a must. Most guys here act spineless and act as if their balls have not dropped yet, so don’t say anything to them if you’re going to be honest. It might hurt their feelings! If you direct an ounce of negativity at them, they will get their purse and try to bitch slap you with it, Or, better yet, they’ll become loud enough to involve their friends or anyone within a 50 foot radius, all so they can view their drama/acting abilities.
Number three: Compassionate. When he knows someone is hurting, he offers a shoulder to cry on. Most guys in Los Angeles are “me, me, me!” kind of guys. They’ll ask you to comfort them, but they won’t do the same for you in return.
Number four: Intelligence/Self Awareness. A man doesn’t get used or pushed around. In the land of gay (West Hollywood), expect everyone wants to use you, spit you out and move on to the next one. After all, LA’s unspoken motto is, “You’ll do ’til something better comes along in five minutes”.
Number five: He takes care of himself in all realms. Examples include health and finances. Los Angeles men are mainly about the outside and what the public sees. Then, of course, it’s a mess at home, and god knows what they are hiding in there closets…
Number six: A man has goals. If he doesn’t have goals, then he’s a boy in a grown-up body. Gay men in Los Angeles are happy to do anything to progress their lives. They just go to bars, day after day after day, and talk about the same shit. Sex, what they bought, who they hate, other people’s business and who they are going to be fucking. They are content with that dull and very pathetic existence.
If you’re in a crowd, you should be able to look and point out all the men with ease. Try doing that at the Abbey, and you might be able to pull out 12 out of 500… And since that’s a mixed crowd, 11 out of the 12 are probably straight.
This is where people are going to hate me if you don’t already. I am pretty old school and I am proud of it. A man doesn’t dress up in women’s clothing and act like a woman. I am 25 years-old, and I see more young guys my age acting, dressing and talking like women. This is not for a living, charity or holiday, which I could understand, as in cases like RuPaul, Best in Drag Show or Halloween.
Most gay men in Los Angeles wouldn’t know how to fix a flat tire or chop wood to save their lives. I live in California and people love to be politically correct*. If you like acting in such manners that are considered womanly, then there are operations to help you with the transition. I’d rather walk around the planet with men who look like stereotypical Tom of Finland guys and not little lady-boys.
Since the 1950s, men have slowly been becoming more like women, and women are becoming more like men. I equate that as equality, and more power to them, but you wont find me mixing my peanut butter in my chocolate.
* Not me, obviously.
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Click below for additional answers:
So does this basically assume that a camp or effeminate guy cannot do handywork?
I’m not a muscled guy, or a “straight” acting gay. Nor do I want to be. I still enjoy sport, especially rugby. I can still change a tyre. (Yes, I’m British)
This is not about political correctness. It’s about understanding differences, and similarities. It’s a shame that people believe what Athens believes but he’s entitled to it.
Hopefully, people won’t treat him with the narrow mindedness he is treating his own community with.
This was stunningly honest, direct and clear. I think young Jed has a lot of insight, good ideas and perceptions, and is what I would call an “evolved” being, with good self-knowledge and an ability to accurately appraise and accept or reject the behavioral presentations of others. As he said, he is “old school” and I like that~!!! Good basic values about mutual respect, honest communication, reciprocity and helping or being there, for others. Maybe many of us are in the “me-me” generation, but we need to assess and take a second look at ourselves (and as he says) — our goals for living and interacting~
^^ yep i agree with joeywhite this whole “masculinity” craze taking over the gay community is so close to making me vomit. look at grindr (i shiver when i say the name) “macs u b 2, straight acting want the same, athletic and masc u should be 2” obviously we’re all gay and we like MEN but to be so shallow and so vain to look on the outside (in my opinion) of how someone “Acts” and not their character is absolutely shameful. ignorant and just plain moronic. just because a guy doesn’t chop wood or fix a car doesn’t mean he’s a man… MASCULINITY is based on, CHARACTER AND INTEGRITY.. most of these arrogant so called gays don’t know what the fuck masculinity is! get. a . life.
I think it odd that he uses Tom of Finland as the archetype for masculinity and assumes said archetype is ahistorical. The masculinity offered in Tom of Finland is a masculinity that is constructed and not at all natural…..see Ramakers book Dirty Pictures. I think that his post is more a critique of a portion of the Los Angeles gay world than any sort of commentary on masculinity.
I can’t say that his critique of Los Angeles men isn’t dead on target. I was pretty much nodding the whole way through. But I do feel sorry for him that he’s so cynical at his age. Of course, most 25 year olds have an arrogant all-knowing understanding of life. That will change with time. 😉
Bollocks. Uneducated rednecks spew the same filth. Although I must say, it is good material for academics in asserting the misogyny that manifests in gay culture.
The real problem is that the 6 points he lists are just things that separate good people from bad people, or at least mature people from immature people. I don’t see why that has to line up with gender: should women not provide shoulders to lean on? (They should: it’s actually one of the primary gender stereotypes about emotional availability – “real” guys can’t emotional with their guy friends, so they need their wife to be their emotional confidant.) Should women not expect the worst and protect their feelings? (I highly doubt actresses trying to make it in Hollywood get treated better than actors.) Shouldn’t women care about other people besides themselves?
Then he goes on to make it sound as though the superficial markers of
gender (ie, he thinks you pick out the “real men” in the crowd at a bar just by looking,
and moreover that you can do so by using stereotypes about gay=femme
and straight=masc) are somehow correlated with the six things that make you a good/mature person. Which is bullshit, because guys who can change tires, chop wood and work out are often total douchebags. I’d wager most males in America who routinely chop wood for their own fireplaces are hicks, and likewise probably stupid right-wing bigots who are far from intelligent and emotionally mature. Sure, lots of gay guys into the scene are probably pretty superficial; but on the other hand, they’re also just letting loose and being who they want to be in one of few safe spaces in a world that hates them. On the other hand, sometimes the macho guys are the real ones who are overgrown boys, who never got over their insecurity about being “man enough” and still have to overcompensate by playing with bigger and badder toys (Nascar). If a straight guy only ever talks to his bros at bars about all the girls he wants to fuck and favorite sports teams, is he necessarily any more substantive than a gay guy who only talks about his tricks and favorite divas?
he’s hot. I don’t care what he has to say, he’s just some guy
I admire his values and the importance that he places upon integrity, honesty, ambition, fortitude, and the like. Yet the fact that he assigns these values to his specific sense of manhood and masculinity while devaluing womanliness and femininity is troubling. I would ask him if he then finds dishonesty, perfidy, slothfulness, and timidity womanly? Must we value one gender over the others? Must we consider manhood or womanhood to be defined by our genitals? Are masculinity and manhood as well as femininity and womanhood truly synonymous? Would it not be better to argue that virtue, honesty, ambition, and strength are things we value in all people be they male or female; man or woman; boy or girl; transgendered; queer, gay, straight, or asexual; or any of the other myriad classifications we’ve carved out of sex, sexuality, and gender? Must we associate these positive values solely or individually with specific genders? Gender and sexuality are malleable concepts that not only change between communities (what may pass as manly in LA doesn’t necessarily pass for manly in DC, hell what may pass for manly West Hollywood doesn’t necessarily pass for manly in the OC) and cultures, but also change across politics, race, ethnicity, and many other aspects of a society. To borrow a metaphor for race put forth by a far greater intellect than my own as well as a superior writer: gender and sexuality are empty vessels which we fill with our own ideas. What really disconcerts me is that this otherwise articulate person has allowed his negative experiences with individuals within his local community to cloud his understanding between two distinct ideas: what it means to be a good person and what it means to be a man. And furthermore, superficiality exists everywhere, the trick is to carve out your own niche and surround yourself with people you like. And how do his comments have anything to do with political correctness or incorrectness? In the end he comes off as bitter, cynical, and ignorant.
I’ve got to say that I admire his candidness. He’s holding up a mirror to the superficiality of gay men who, quite honestly, don’t want to admit to what they see in their reflection. For instance, drag queens are great for entertainment, but they are just an illusion. I’ve worked with several of them, and if they could, they would stay in character in order to escape the pain of reality. As for Hollywood, there’s a reason why they call it ”the land of make believe”.
He is describing gay men everywhere but, at 25 he is quite the “power douche” and very self-absorbed.
First of all, Jed’s 6 points were right on – his examples may have been a little cynical but for a 25 year old to see the world he lives in so clearly is pretty remarkable.
I was really getting what he said until he started ripping on those who may not act the way that so called “normal” men do…Masculinity, though most often associated with the male gender is not in and of itself a male concept. There have always been males and females who have acted outside of their gender norms but never felt the desire to become another gender. It is kind of like the old kinsey scale for sexuality, 0-10…we all fit on their some where and we should all respect that.
What Jed misses, I believe, as do a lot of people his generation, is what the “equality” and “liberation” movements have actually done. Feminism did not benefit just females…but men as well. Jed talks of life since the 50’s and the fluctuating gender roles…but remember, we needed the women of our country to go to work in factories during WWII, so when the 50’s came around we were doing our best to make the little woman go back home (this is the era with all the kitchen appliances in pretty colors and all the many home cleaning products). As is so often the case in the US, we go form one extreme to the next before finding a middle..and the 40’s were about empowering women and the 50’s were about sending them home. Those two decades had a lasting effect on the male gender as well. If you were not able to serve in WWII as a man it was emasculating and in the 50’s if you did not fit a “norm” you could very easily find yourself being accused of being a “communist” or worse yet, a “homosexual” which at the time would have meant the end of your ability to earn a living.
So when feminism came around, men and women were free. With women gaining rights men, in turn, no longer had to play the perfect :”Man”..no one has to pretend to be what they were not…and this carries over to the LGBT community. Each struggle has been to make sure that we all can be exactly who we are and not what society wants us to be. There was a time not too long ago where all gay men , if you wanted to have a sex life and be treated seriously, looked alike.
I for one am thrilled that we all can just be. I hope that Jed will look at his comments and points three and four in his definition of masculinity…only through compassion and our own self awareness can we truly accept those we do not understand and celebrate the fact that we all can be who we are, sans masks, because of all the men and women who have gone before.
To be fair he`s in porn, and in porn the queeny guys only know how to suck the cocks of the “real men” who show up to work on their plumbing, he just seems to have confused that with reality 😀
My Parents are Bittish and was raised to be a man. So narrow mindedness isn’t one of my traits. I except ppl for who they are doesn’t mean I have to like it.
I like this comment…… you’d be a good friend… someone real!!!
Sounds like you have issues with yourself… There is a Saying Big is beautiful. That my be true but its doesnt mean its healthy. So in this case if your a weakling and lets say some str8t guy is kicking the shit out of you becuase ur gay and you cant defend urself then you (yes you jamie ) deserve to the shit kicked out of you. Since you can defend urself…. becuase heaven knowns the girl you hang out with arent goin to help you. Men need to be men and not women who need to be protected. And i dont have a scewed sense of anything…
Well you need to read what i first stated…. since i could only pull out Micheal Landon . I decided to bases what i thought a man should be via what you get when you live in LA……
True…..i agree you change with time… but i have been this way since i was 8yo….. so its proabbly not goin to change 🙁
lol I love girls on a whole normally much more then gay men. Less hassel and they tend not to lie to you…. i am very porn women…. so try using large words on someone that isn’t in MENSA.
Sounds like you only can read into the negative….. Sad your probably the kinda guy who I was talking… (little lady boy) I never said at anytime that having quailty of a women is a bad thing…. Women listen more then men which would be an amazing trait for a guy to have etc…… But yet again this was for humor and you obivious need to go bad to painting your nails.
Thanks you … its just my prospective on LA gay men. As Generalization….. and i am not referring to the natives… The Natives are amazing!
No i wasnt saying only men have these qualities…. I said these qualities are what makes a man a man……. if they dont have them then they are little punk ass boys. So yet again if you talked to any girl that knows me they would say I’m pro women…. And very much agaisnt “ASSNUGGETS” 95% of LA gay men. And to your last line in your post… bitter yes…. cynical hell yes… ignorant well you were looking in the mirror when you wrote that one….. you read into what i wrote and didnt just take it as face vaule…. so your ignorant to think you know me or anything about what i think or know…
“This is not for a living, charity or holiday, which I could understand, as in cases like RuPaul, Best in Drag Show or Halloween”……. Reality sucks and observations are exactly what they are…
Lol you dont know me if you say self-absorbed.. Whats your shoe size so i can send you some pumps! i am thinking with bows and sparkles!!
I like what you said. But in response i said this “I equate that as equality, and more power to them, but you wont find me mixing my peanut butter in my chocolate.” i except people for whom they are doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Well this is true but I know who to build a house from the basement up.. So people let me know whom in porn you were referring too.. as well ass let me know if you served in the armed forces.. I’l like to see your BDU’s
Actually, you do seem to express a mildly skewed sense of things. I’m strong. But I’m also 5’6″ I know how to fight, but if some 6’5″ gay basher shows up with a lead pipe, I’m fucked, and not in the fun way.
Nothing makes it right for that bigger stronger person to bully me or hurt me, but it can happen. If it does, I’m no less of a man because I couldn’t do much about it besides bleed or run away.
Real men can be victims. There is always someone bigger, there is always someone stronger there is always someone meaner.
Your response to Jamie sounds a whole lot like a might makes right argument. Which seems too basic. Is a 90 year old man not a man anymore because someone younger can knock him down? Being a man has to be more than just an extended game of ‘king of the mountain’.
You’re a sexy guy (since, apparently Nerdjock11 is the online handle for Jed Athens) and your observations/opinions are as valid as the next guys. For me its a narrow definition that works in certain basic contexts but isn’t that applicable for the day to day.
you also should really spell check, the occasional typo happens to nearly everyone…but you’re letting yourself down with most of your responses.
I can respect what you are saying….. i thought id be funny and generalize eveything like Jamie did…… and play on his level…… people love to foregt that when you write the word “MOST” it doesnt mean everyone…….which that is annoying…..
That’s Jed for you. I grew up with him. He is blunt and honest. He won’t lie to you. So anything that upset people he will not apologize for honesty. The funny thing most of the comments people have written sound as if they were turned down by him as if they were scorned chicks who wanted his dick and couldn’t get it. In closing Jed’s the man for saying what in over half the populations mind.
i’m pretty sure i like you.
Why thanks Ravel! It’s just my opinion. Rupaul says the only
Opinion that matters is your own . So what I had and will say shouldn’t get anyone’s panties in a twist!
As a personal preference, I agree with him. I personally don’t want to date a guy who acts feminine. I like men, so I want a man who acts masculine. That doesn’t mean he has to fix a car or anything like that, but I don’t want a guy who wants to wear make up or women’s clothing or screams to the top of his lungs if he sees a bug. I want a guy who dresses like a man. It’s not a skewd redneck view, but I would not be into a guy who acts like, well Jack from Will & Grace. Now maybe a guy like Will. I do tend to go for the intellectual types. A guy who is level headed & smart is damn sexy. If he says anything about Jersey Shore or stupid shit, it’s over & done with right then.
God what a bore
Nothing says I’m a manly man than your mouth gaping open screaming as a dick is up your ass.
Whos screaming?
??
See another normal person agrees with me!!!
lol hey i havent seen u in a long while hope all is well!!!
I have a hard time taking him seriously. His grammar and spelling are atrocious. Also, he does sound pompous and cynical – which a real man is not. Learned and humble makes a real man. He also appears to lack true confidence – he’s mistaken his cockiness for it. Total turn-off.
This guy should seriously consider leaving LA. Blaming and judging the men in the town the way he does is a mark of his immaturity. If you can make blanket statements like “The men in (insert town)…” then it’s really about you in that town and not the men. He’s doing an awful lot of projecting here and it does not reflect back on him very well. He should really review his #4 and consider adding “Personal Responsibility” to his list and drop the blame.
This guy should seriously consider leaving LA. Blaming and judging the men in the town the way he does is a mark of his immaturity. If you can make blanket statements like “The men in (insert town)…” then it’s really about you in that town and not the men. He’s doing an awful lot of projecting here and it does not reflect back on him very well. He should really review his #4 and consider adding “Personal Responsibility” to his list and drop the blame.
This guy should seriously consider leaving LA. Blaming and judging the men in the town the way he does is a mark of his immaturity. If you can make blanket statements like “The men in (insert town)…” then it’s really about you in that town and not the men. He’s doing an awful lot of projecting here and it does not reflect back on him very well. He should really review his #4 and consider adding “Personal Responsibility” to his list and drop the blame.
This guy should seriously consider leaving LA. Blaming and judging the men in the town the way he does is a mark of his immaturity. If you can make blanket statements like “The men in (insert town)…” then it’s really about you in that town and not the men. He’s doing an awful lot of projecting here and it does not reflect back on him very well. He should really review his #4 and consider adding “Personal Responsibility” to his list and drop the blame.
LOL….. I am confident and i am confident enough to say.I probably can make u feel pathetic just by looking at you.
While my discussion of you was precise and controlled, your retort to what I had to say is as immature and caustic as your original post. It’s hard to feel that a simple glance by someone such as yourself would make me feel pathetic, especially seeing as I know so much already of how you view yourself and the gay world, and you only know that I find you immature, caustic, incapable of proper grammar or spelling, and that you are cocky, pompous and cynical – which says nothing about how I see myself or the rest of the gay community. You don’t have the power to make me feel pathetic. You simply have the power to make me disappointed that you can’t see how arrogance and misdirected attitude are clearly still your strong points.
While my discussion of you was precise and controlled, your retort to what I had to say is as immature and caustic as your original post. It’s hard to feel that a simple glance by someone such as yourself would make me feel pathetic, especially seeing as I know so much already of how you view yourself and the gay world, and you only know that I find you immature, caustic, incapable of proper grammar or spelling, and that you are cocky, pompous and cynical – which says nothing about how I see myself or the rest of the gay community. You don’t have the power to make me feel pathetic. You simply have the power to make me disappointed that you can’t see how arrogance and misdirected attitude are clearly still your strong points.
LOL projecting and stating facts are tow different things learn them…. befire you open you mouth
LOL projecting and stating facts are tow different things learn them…. befire you open you mouth
LOL well its the truth i can start at someone and make them feel small…. i didnt resort to anything lol
Facts? I’m sorry, where were you stating any facts? Simply because you think or believe something that doesn’t make it a fact. It’s just your opinion. I stand by my remarks.
Facts? I’m sorry, where were you stating any facts? Simply because you think or believe something that doesn’t make it a fact. It’s just your opinion. I stand by my remarks.
Jed Athens aka Phillip Smith, is a lunatic. Don’t mistake his insanity as something normal. Anyone who knows him on a personal level, has experienced the psychotic side of this so called “man”. He is a chronic liar and doesn’t know how to seperate truth and fact, from fiction. He makes up scenarios in his mind and absolutely believes that he is right. Now there’s nothing wrong with believing in yourself and standing up for it, but his approach is not normal.
He’s a gogo boy in west Hollywood and works at various gay bars off Santa Monica and Robertson Blvd. But lies and says he is not. He is HIV poz (not judging at all) unless you’re sleeping with people and not telling them. Which is the case. It’s dispicable.
He needs to be sent to a psychiatrist and evaluated.
You’ve burnt so many bridges and people literally go out of there way to stay clear of you. You have issues with meth and other drugs. It’s also uncomfortable listening to you talk shit about people in group settings when people are out to have a good time. Nobody cares about your drama. If you continue down this destructive path, that’s all you will get back in this life.