Every November, Thanksgiving season is brought in with individuals updating their MANHUNT profiles to include allusions to getting stuffed like a turkey. Luckily, the Fourth of July brings us another occasion for such tackiness. In honor of our country, we've compiled a top ten list of our favorite references for this holiday season. Get ready for lots of talk about fireworks and banging.
– Dewitt
Photo credit: Flickr
For our top ten list, follow the JUMP:
10. Let's have a hot dog eating contest (wink wink): We're surprised that we've never actually seen this one. I mean, who isn't competing with one of their close friends or fuck buds this weekend to discover who's the better cocksucker? I'm sure we can help you find some "judges".
9. Come/Cum Yankee my Doodle: Depending on how your dirty mind defines "Yankee" or "Doodle", this could mean quite a few things. We're pretty sure we could get down with most of the possibilities, except for… well, let's not go there.
8. We can make history: Your sex will be so amazing that second graders will study it for years to come.
7. Anything involving the word "bang": Get it? Fireworks are loud, and banging is another word for sex! People are so clever that I can't even handle it. Thankfully, you don't need to be clever to put the "bang" in Fourth of July.
6. Seeking my four fathers: We could imagine someone with a daddy fetish putting this spin on the word "forefathers". We're pretty sure the Gettysburg Address isn't the focus of this weekend, but we won't judge.
5. Ready to salute your flag pole, sir: By "flag pole", I think he means penis. And by "salute", I think he's referring to deepthroating (among other activities). You'll have to stay hard, because no one wants a flag that's half-mast.
4. This ass was made for you in me: A simple reinterpretation of the patriotic diddy "This Land Is Your Land", though you might want to hesitate if he's singing this song to guys "from California to the New York Island". That can't be a good sign!
3. Have the day off from work: This is potentially code for "My wife is bringing the kids to a picnic or barbecue for a few hours. I have the house to myself." Also, they probably have off from work.
2. Skip the barbecue, eat my ass: Very subtle.
1. I'll have you shooting like fireworks/I shoot loads like fireworks: Does anyone ever stop to think how gross it'd be if someone's jizz-flow actually resembled an explosion of fireworks? It'd be all sprinkly! That aside, we sure wouldn't argue with having an explosive orgasm.
Hey Dewitt, this top ten list is fantastic. #2 is my favorite, direct and right to the point of things. You can post this to our site http://www.toptentopten.com/ and link back to your site. We are trying to create a directory for top ten lists where people can find your site. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list.
I am born on the 3rd of july going to have a fuckfest later with all my buddies tonight till the 4th of july …….yeah !!!!