Dr. Queerlove and I had a bit of a debate over playing music during sex. Personally, I like to hear every moan, breath and grunt that comes from my partner's mouth. If you're going to play music during sex, you have to make sure both (or all) parties involved are on the same page. Someone else might consider "Your Body is a Wonderland" to be extraordinarily sexy, but I'd contemplate biting off a guy's dick if that started blaring over the speakers.
With that said, there are worse things you can do. Bad song choices are better than not choosing at all. It may seem convenient to just put your iPod on shuffle, but it could lead to some embarrassing scenarios. So without further ado, we present our list of the top ten most inappropriate songs to play during sex. Feel free to comment with your additions!
– Dewitt
For our top ten list, follow the JUMP:
10. Color Me Badd – I Wanna Sex You Up: Songs with the word "sex" in the title might seem like they're always a good idea. They're not. This might be okay to put on your playlist if you're having a '90s party. For some no-strings attached fucking? Not so much.
9.
The Police – Every Breath You Take: Most people won't want to hear a quality stalker anthem while you're inside of them. Plus, this may illicit memories of the Puff Daddy version, and there's nothing sexy about the Notorious B.I.G.'s death.
8.
Maroon 5 – She Will Be Loved: Yes, this was also on Dr. Queerlove's list. Aside from the obvious pronoun problems here, lead singer Adam Levine's wail may result in your partner "accidentally" kneeing you in the balls.
7.
Tila Tequila – I Love You: Though this song does have lyrics about oral sex, it also contains the lyric, "If you ever hurt me, I'll fucking kill you". Probably not the message you want to get across, eh?
6.
Miley Cyrus – The Climb: You'd think that someone would be smart enough to keep their love of Radio Disney out of the bedroom. Tell that to the guy I hooked up with last week. This rule also applies to anything from the
High School Musical soundtrack.
5.
Nirvana – Rape Me: Now I know some people have fantasies about this sort of thing, but even those people wouldn't want to live out this role-play with someone who had the foresight to make a soundtrack.
4.
Ragtime – Your Daddy's Son: You may both be into show tunes. You may not both be into listening to songs about burying your baby. Just sayin'.
3.
Los Del Rio – Macarena: This rule also applies to The Electric Slide, Cotton-Eyed Joe, The Ketchup Song, Crank That (Soulja Boy) and anything that has its own dance.
2.
Sister Sledge – We Are Family: Yes, you're not having sex with a family member (or at least we hope so), but no one wants to think of their family while they're doing the dirty deed.
I’m sorry to say that I didn’t have time to read Dr. Queerlove’s response to that question, though now I have to go back and read it.
Personally, I’ve never had a problem using Annie Lennox, particularly the Dive album. They rhythms are varied, and perfect for fucking.
Save the club music for the clubs. If you need music to seduce a guy, James Taylor’s “Don’t Let Me Be Lonely Tonight” get their zipper open everytime. If that doesn’t work, then anything by Sinatra except Send In The Clowns.
Damn, need to proof before posting. That should read “Diva” album. Though I’m sure most of you got that.
And, trite as it may sound, Ravel’s “Bolero” on repeat can always be fun, if you play it right. 😉
that makes me remember my 1st time
Britney’s Toxic was playing and then my nose bleeds… hahahaha
hilarious now that i think about it
There’s quite a few that are worst than ‘She Will be Loved’ or ‘Every Breath You Take,’ I would probably blue-ball anyone who used ‘King of Pain,’ or anything by either Evanescence or any other goth band no matter how much I might like either.
Celine Dion would probably get them thrown out, no matter what season or how much they may or may not be wearing.
Hero by Enrique Iglesias would make me run for the door. Sorry, Steve, but that limp mess of a ballad trumps anything Celine Dion has ever sung. Hell, it even trumps Michael Bolton in the “what the fuck were they thinking” department.
Almost any music during sex is just wrong. The only appropriate music is the music playing on the porn you may be watching while fucking. Otherwise, how awful! When I was in college and HAD to have music playing in the dorm during sex, it was always Portishead, and even that was a bit too much.
I loved Color me bad. lol.
OMG! Cotton Eyed Joe and The Ketchup song are two of my faves, haha!
I have a bit of a music fetish, but strangely enough the music in porn drives me up a wall (except in the case of one clip i just found with a great, soft, steaming latin guitar). The whole point is having something subtle to quietly underscore those rich, erotic human sounds.
If you’re at all into their sound, try Sigur Ros’ “Takk” album. It’s not for the hard fuck rhythm junkie, but for a long slow sensual session of the horizontal tango – amazing.