Top Ten: People We’d Rather See On VH1’s Divas Instead of Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus Tshirt

So VH1 has resurrected their Divas special, and guess which completely non-divas will be headlining? The network recently announced a line-up which includes Leona Lewis, Adele, Kelly Clarkson and wait for it… Miley Cyrus. We can kind of get behind the other three, but what business does some raspy-voiced Disney slut have occupying a space previously reserved for such voices as Mary J. Blige, Whitney Houston, Celine Dion and Stevie Nicks.

To express our distaste for VH1's decision, we've compiled a list of ten other singers we'd like to see in place of Miley Cyrus. Some of this is tongue-in-cheek, though we're serious about some of our choices. 

While it may not be as sexy as previous Top Ten lists (see here and here), we had to get it off our chests. Here's hoping that VH1 picks some actual divas for the final four spots.

– Dewitt

For our top ten list, follow the JUMP:

10. Lil Kim: After getting a glimpse of the pint-sized rapper's duet with Cyndi Lauper, this would be worth it for the ratings alone. They should do a reprise of their live "Time After Time"/"Lighters Up" mash-up, and I'd advise Kim to break out the Diana Ross-approved outfit she wore at the 1999 MTV VMAs. Because if a diva touches your boob, you are also a diva. Or something like that.

9. Dolly Parton: I know they're trying to appeal to the tweens and all, but could we inject this motherfucker with a little ol' school gay? What better way to accomplish that goal than hiring the woman who originally sang "I Will Always Love You".

8. Beth Ditto: Even though Kelly Clarkson and Adele aren't the tiniest girls out there, this would be a bold move to show that divas come in all shapes and sizes. Plus, this girl can sing! And if they invited Katy Perry (preferably to just sit in the audience), an endlessly entertaining catfight would ensue.

7. Adam Lambert: It's the year 2009! Who said a vagina was required for diva status? If you ever saw him on American Idol, it's blatantly clear that this man has diva written all over him. He could even duet with Kelly, in attempts to bring together the new and old generations of reality TV goodness.

6. Lady Gaga: She annoys the hell out of me, but there's no denying that her performances are outrageous spectacles. I'd rather see her hump the stage and pretend to be weird than watch Cyrus sing a boring rendition of "The Climb".

5. The other members of The Pussycat Dolls: I'm not even being tongue-in cheek.

4. Johnny Depp as Carol Channing: Because he needs to practice for this role somewhere. Why not on national television? Once again, I'm not even joking.

3. Avril Lavigne: Hell yeah, she's the motherfuckin' princess. Now I'm being tongue-in-cheek.

2. Jennifer Hudson: Um, hello? Isn't she pretty much the definition of a modern diva? The girl's got an Oscar and a Grammy. The only thing that should prevent her from being on the show is her big ol' head rejecting their invitation. Of course, there is that whole pregnancy thing, but that didn't stop M.I.A.

1. Pretty much anyone

10 thoughts on “Top Ten: People We’d Rather See On VH1’s Divas Instead of Miley Cyrus

  1. lol. miley diva? lol lol lol.
    leona lewis for sure. other 2 are ok.
    miley just lol.

  2. jennifer hudson for sure, but the girls they have lined up are certainly not “diva” worthy… i really wish they would have put more thought into the line-up than just picking random young singers..
    if amy winehouse could clean herself up enough, she’d be a great addition to the line-up.

  3. None of these women are Diva’s, and since when did Diva status mean a couple of hits.
    Last I checked, a Diva was someone who everyone loved, who’s been around for YEARS and has the attitude to back up the title Diva.
    Guess they’re just kinda throwing that term around pretty losely nowadays huh?

  4. Miley! Ha!
    I would LOVE for Beth Ditto to go!
    Whitney should promote her comeback at this Diva spectacle.

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