The other day, I was chatting with a guy on Manhunt, and he only had one public picture of his cock. Though it was a particularly nice penis, I'm not fond of meeting guys based on one body part alone. I politely asked him to unlock his private pictures, and he obliged after I enticed him by unlocking mine.
I paused for a moment to jerk off at a picture from the neck down, as he sported a jockstrap with a very impressive bulge. And then I decided to move on to his face pic. I could tell he was cute, but there was one issue–he looked like a sad, hot mess. With extra emphasis on the "sad". His eyes were closed, with his mouth forming a frown.
My guess? he probably didn't get the memo that the whole "emo" thing is so 2002. It's a brand new decade, and it's time to cheer the fuck up. And if you're feeling down, fake your happiness for your profile photos. Sex isn't supposed to be depressing, and it's not alluring to imagine that you might start crying while I'm fucking you. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.
– Dewitt
Don’t forget that you might end up on Lurrid Diggs: http://www.luriddigs.com/
Decor matters.
It’s all about self-esteem. We all tend to feel down now and then, but I gotta say…buck up and smile for the camera. Even if you’re less than stellar in the looks department…at least you can be perceieved as a fun-not-hot-mess! LOL
MH WTFs:
1. People who look sad in their photos – WTF?
2. An empty profile that says “if you want to know more, ask” – WTF?
3. Pics that make the dude look worse than real life – WTF?
4. Guys who say “looking for same” and then have blank stats – WTF?
5. Profiles who say spelling is important – but include spelling mistakes – WTF?
6. Profiles where they just whine about a broken heart – WTF?
7. Profiles where people run themselves down – WTF?
8. Old men who are super picky, e.g. 69 yo ISO 24-27 athletic Asians only pls – WTF?
9. People who “work out constantly” yet are built like a piece of spaghetti – WTF?
@W_L
Agree with most but I think I can see why some might think 6 would work. Maybe the kind of guy they are trying to attract is the kind that feeds off of vulnerable men. Saying you have a broken heart makes you vulnerable.
9. I cannot gain weight to save my life. I never advertise myself as anything other than slim, but you can work out constantly and be a stick.
I agree with W_L! Some profile just really annoy me. And profile that just have cock shots are usually ignored by me.
And with #9 on W_L list. I noticed some guys that say they work out are really dough boys! Chubby and with that I always PASS on!
Happy New Year!
I like W_I’s post, but I’ll disagree with #8. If that’s what the guy is looking for, let him look. Yeah, it’s unlikely, but it’s not impossible. There actually are a few young guys out there who get into older guys. (FYI: I’m not one of them, lol.)
There’s someone posting comments on this blog who’s the perfect definition of #5 on W_Ls post. Stick around and you’ll find out who.
I’m tempted to bait him out but I can’t be fucked making a typo on purpose.
Regarding cheering up, I agree although in some cases ain’t nothing better then fucking the sadness right out of a depressed guy. 😉
does anyone know what Dewitt’s username is? i really want to see what he looks like
My biggest peeve is guys who invite people to email or IM them, but then ignore the email completely or open the IM window and then close it immediately. Nothing says “I have no class” faster.
Great post, W_L
I’ve been wondering the same thing, ryan!
W_L: why post a list entitled “MH WTFs”, then put “WTF?” at the end of each item? You already said that was what the list was going to be- so isn’t it a bit of overkill to put it after EVERY SINGLE QUESTION?
Jimm: how come you had no problem getting the plural on “cock shots” right but missed doing it correctly on “profile”- TWICE?
And Jimbo, thanks so much for recognizing my penchant for pointing out that most bloggers are very poor at watching what they are typing. However, Jimbo, I have checked my former and updated profiles, and there are no spelling errors there. Using Firefox as a browser has the advantage of getting spell check automatically, so I look for those nasty red underlines and correct them before saving new profiles or posting on here. There, see, you didn’t have to “bait me out” by accidentally (?) misspelling something. I am proud to be someone that thinks the English language needs to be presented correctly, wherever it is presented- especially since most who post on here have the education and brains to proof their posts beforehand and know when they have made a mistake. HAPPY 2010 (twenty-ten? two thousand ten? which should it be?) to all! and to paraphrase an old Carol Burnett schtick: “You keep misspelling, Marvin, I’ll keep correcting!”
Along with Emo being “last decade”, can we also put to rest “I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin'”??? Please – it’s now 2010!
i aslo wnat to see dewtit’s nauhgty pics, the duude that MH let wriite the otehr psot ( for yuo Rnady wtih loeve) siad that he waas a hawt baibe.
(i can see randy’s head exploding at the above section of the post, (that takes care of him), never to bother any of the MH daily posters with inane spelling corrections ever again), jimbo you can thank me later 😉
Alex, you and your lame attempts at attracting attention are so far below my radar that you aren’t even a blip! why can’t you and guys like you get the idea that this is our LANGUAGE, for Pete’s sake- it’s how we communicate, and we owe it to ourselves to do so carefully and properly, no matter what generation we are.That doesn’t just mean folks that speak and write English, either, guys, but whatever language you use to communicate. Slang is one thing, but not bothering to check what you write, and put it out there so blatantly wrong that even your first-grade niece or nephew could tell it was wrong, is pretty poor. People used to take pride in what they wrote, in what they thought, in what they made- what happened?
and the first person on this site that blames what I am pointing out on the fact that we have elected an Afro-American president deserves to have ALL his civil rights permanently voided… had to say it because I know it’s out there, though I can’t understand how gays could think that way. Of course, I have never been able to understand the oxymoron of being a gay Republican, either.
@Randy: It’s the internet.
Firefox Spell check isn’t what you need, what you need is Firefox Paragraph check. Your posts have no introduction, body or conclusion. Ya know, simple writing technique that your first grade niece or nephew has heard of.
You can’t talk about spelling mistakes and then go on to have horrible, HORRIBLE paragraphing skills. Excelling at one area of the language doesn’t mean you can slack off in others. It’s one thing to correct peoples grammar, punctuation, spelling and connotations. It’s another to do so whilst making yourself look bad.
Before you tell others what’s wrong with their posts maybe you should take your own advice and practice what you preach.
@Alex: Oh I’ll thank you later alright. 😉