Wanna Be On Top?: ANTM Does Sonia Dara

Jay-Z, Lance Armstrong, Lauryn Hill and David Beckham. What do these four people all have in common? They’ve all appeared before the lens of cubby (and seriously hot) photographer Jonathan Mannion. Last night on America’s Next Top Model, the eight remaining contestants joined their ranks. Well, sort of.

The girls split up into two separate groups–blondes versus brunettes–for an “artistic” black and white shoot with the photographer. Prior to this, Ms. Tyra Banks coached them on their model archetypes. Are you a sex bomb? The girl next door? The edgy bad-ass? So many questions for these pseudo-models to ponder! OMG, how will they ever know?

It’s yet to be determined. However, we can tell you that this episode’s guest judge was none other than Sonia Dara, the first model of South-Asian descent to be featured in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. She was looking damn pretty as she got all judgmental on these bitches. But even so, not as pretty as Jonathan Mannion… Seriously, why is he so cubby and attractive? Not that we’re obsessed or anything.

– Dewitt

Photo credit: Chris Frawley

To check out this shoot and read more, follow the JUMP:

BLONDES:

From left to right: Hannah, Kasia, Molly and Alexandria

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BRUNETTES:

From left to right: Monique, Jaclyn, Mikaela and Brittani

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1. BRITTANI (LW – 2): We’d love to talk about Brittani’s performance on this episode, but can we just say she’s (blah blah) awesome and move on to more important matters? Such as, the way she was flipping out in the preview for next week’s episode? We really hope the actual drama lives up to that clip. Our favorite reality show contestants are the ones who have mental breakdowns on camera.

2. KASIA (LW – 6): Watching the four “blondes” on set, we initially became worried about Kasia’s status in this competition. “Bottom two!” we thought silently to ourselves, as she wandered aimlessly on the outskirts of the frame. Of course, once the group repositioned themselves, it became clear that this fiercly real plus-size gal was going to destroy this shot. Totally beautiful.

3. MOLLY (LW -8): If Brittani doesn’t win this cycle, we’re putting our money on Molly. Not in the literal sense, but of course. Who in their right mind would bet on America’s Next Top Model? All in all, however, her portfolio has been consistently good, and we sense that it has potential to become stronger as we more forward. Let’s just hope she stops complaining now that the weave’s out.

4. JACLYN (LW – 3): Jaclyn strikes us as the type of girl who’s harboring a big-ass secret. It’s not humanly possible for one person to be this sugary sweet all the time, right? She must sell crack, eat babies or star in lesbian bukkake films. We’re convinced there’s something we’re not seeing beyond all this cuteness…

5. HANNAH (LW – 1): Not the best, not the worst! After dominating her fellow competitors in last week’s photo shoot, Hannah has slipped down towards the bottom. We didn’t actually think she looked bad in this picture, but she doesn’t really mesh well with the whole entire composition. But while we’re on that topic…

6. ALEXANDRIA (LW – 5): What the fuck? Alexandria is so fucking awkward in this photo that we can’t even handle it. The other three girls look like hot blonde chicks, and she just looks like some random alien lifeform who wants to hug them and love them forever. Her expression almost veers into comical LOL-cat territory. So effing ridiculous.

7. MIKAELA (LW – 7): This is some reality television bullshit. Mikaela may not have looked spectacular in her picture, but she didn’t ruin the entire shot like Alexandria! With that said, we’re still waiting for the moment when Mikaela breaks out and “wows” us, and it’s actually disconcerting that it hasn’t happened yet. Will she be going home on next week’s episode?

ELIMINATED: MONIQUE (LW – 4): Oh, Monique! We’re going to miss the way you rolled your eyes at literally everything. At least you looked amazing in that one photo shoot? Also, you were fucking hot. Not even kidding. We kind of want to go straight for you and have you roll your eyes at us during sexytime. Maybe even a threesome with Jonathan Mannion? (Not that we’re obsessed) You can wear a strap-on, and we’ll high five as we stuff him in both ends. Eiffel Tower!