So many polls! We want your opinions on EVERYTHING! Men, sex, men, global politics (not really), men, cock, butt, sex, sex, sex. And men. Keep reading to find out the results of every poll you took part in last week. We know you have been SALIVATING for the answers!
Also, if you do read this feature on a weekly basis – let me know in the comments. It’s kind of a chore to write and if tumbleweeds are blowing across it, and a gritty sort of wind is making the steer skull on the abandoned gas station pump sway slightly, then fuck it.
– J. Harvey
Would You Hit That?: Shaun White
The nude pics of Shaun White that are ready to assault our senses with lanky nude ginge haven’t surfaced yet. In preparation, we asked you if you’d fuck him anyway. Dick unseen! And if Shaun has any bi leanings, then he’s shit out of luck. 51.03% of you said no day, no way. He’ll have to stick with the ski bunnies.
iPhone Wars: Battle Of The Winter Hats
It was nice to see nebbishy cuteness beat out burly beef for once. We gave you four hot dudes in winter hats, and asked you which one you would warm with your…heart. Contestant D won with 44.37%. It just goes to show that solid looking nips and hipster glasses get you laid.
Fuck Vs. Fuck: Angelo Marconi Vs. Angelo Antonio
Fuck that hole! It was the battle of the Angelos in last week’s “Fuck Vs. Fuck” – Marconi Vs. Antonio! Adrian Long pounding Mr. Marconi’s butt to beat the band beat A. Antonio with 62.31% of the vote.
Aural Fixation: Everyone Vs. Michael Buble’s Christmas Album
I’m with Dewitt. I would totally tickle Michael Buble’s golden tonsils with my cock. He is fucking cute, and with that smoove voice…damn. I want his dick in a box for Christmas. You guys thought so, too. 70.43% of you chose his Christmas album to fuck to over competitors Lana Del Rey, Mike Posner, and Dia Frampton. I get why Lana wasn’t the winner, her song is called “Born To Die”. Not very sexy. Or Christmasy. *sad face*
Who Would You Rather?: Once Upon A Time
My partner LURVES Once Upon A Time. Frankly, it kinda sickens me cuz’ it’s a total rip-off the comic book Fables by Bill Willingham. Shame on ABC! That doesn’t mean there aren’t hot guys to want to fuck while you’re throwing shade at that boring-ass show. Jamie Dornan is the Sherrif and Josh Dallas is Prince Charming. You let us know that charm is overrated by choosing Dornan over Dallas. 38.68%!
Top Or Bottom: Neil Patrick Harris
Wow, you guys think Doogie Howser will flip fuck on command! 38.66% of you think that Neil Patrick Harris is cool with pitching and catching. I could have sworn “Versatile Top” would be the winner. He just seems like he’s more into giving, but it’s cool if his hubby wants to be on top once in awhile. Can I watch?
dudes, can you feature Justin Gaston next week?! Pleeeeeez