Who Would You Rather?: Twilight Edition

Team Jacob or Team Edward? This is kind of a life or death situation. And we mean that in the literal sense. Jacob Black is a living and breathing werewolf twink, while his rival Edward Cullen is equipped with a dead, cold and sparkly vampire cock.

While you may not give a damn about the release of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (and we wouldn’t blame you considering the movies are horrendously bad), suck it up for a moment and do your best to answer this question. Who would you rather–Taylor Lautner or Robert Pattinson?

– Dewitt

To cast your vote, follow the JUMP:



59 thoughts on “Who Would You Rather?: Twilight Edition

  1. Taylor is the ultimate twink fantasy. I wish randy blue could sign him for a special.

  2. OMG TAYLOR ALL THE WAY!!! @MarcS. Im so with you on that, Taylor is too fine.

  3. Well it depends… LOL… Taylor in real life cause he’s definitely a hottie, but Edward Cullen in the books.

  4. I would have bet money that Taylor would be winning, but I didn’t think by this much! I think that anyone who likes him know has probably lusted after him for the last year or two. I honestly think he is gay seeing as he dumped Taylor Swift because “there was no spark, and all we really did was hang out and go shopping.” I also think that Taylor Swift is just a beard for 90% of the boyfriends.

  5. Taylor all the way. He worked hard to get his body the way it is now and it definitely payed off.

    Nothing against Robert, but there’s just no question who to pick between the two for me.

  6. If I had to pick one,Taylor, cute as hell and buff. But hey, I’m still with being tag-teamed by both of them!!! ha

  7. Frankly, both characters would probably be shitty in bed. They both think that Bella Swan is endless interesting when in fact she’s a spineless, brainless, self-obsessed twit who bases her entire self-worth on having a boyfriend (not unlike some gay men I know…). If they can be that wrong about their main love interest, it’s hard to imagine that they can bring much of value to a romp in bed. Am I the only who finds it sort of creepy that Edward Cullen, a hundred year-old man, is fascinated by a girl who’s not even out of high school?

  8. definitely Taylor in real life.
    it’s a toss up for the books. I think romantically, edward, but intimately, jacob.

    i too, @lomade, think that Taylor is gay. He’s so fem on some of his red carpet interviews.

  9. Taylor is ridiculously good looking and would probably beat out a lot of actor-types, but, honestly, Robert Pattinson is quite ugly and I’m not sure why he was even cast unless he described as fugly in the books as well.

  10. yeah definitely Taylor, that dog in can lick my arse and balls quite nicely thanks.

  11. Taylor Lautner is too beautiful and hot ! But for some reason, pretty boys don’t attract me, like I don’t feel anything when i see him shirtless. Anyone else have that problem or is it just me? I would rather have a one night stand with an average looking guy than him or zac efron.

  12. Edward or Jacob? Send them both back to the nursery…Have any of you checked out the basket and butt on Bill Burke (the actor who plays Bella’s dad)? HEL-LOOOO DADDY!!!! THATS something I could sink MY teeth into! lol

  13. I love both of them. The movies aren’t soo bad, considering they are meant for young teen girls. I certainly wouldn’t kick either of two in bed. I used to like Robert pattinson from the HP movie, he has more rugged good looks, but I do love a beefcake and Taylor Lautner has certainly pumped up in all the right places, so it is a draw for me. Couldn’t we have both, same dilemna that Bella Swan is having in the books: vampire or werewolf? A classic case of life imitating Art..

  14. I would have liked to see Team Jasper up there, or even Team Charlie or Carlise. But I guess it’s Taylor or no one. I have liked him since before Twlight anyway… He was sooo adorable as Sharkboy!

  15. Kellen Lutz for sure, but if I have to choose between the other two, Robert Pattinson.

  16. Taylor Lautner, hands down.

    Robert Pattinson isn’t particularly good looking to begin with, but Taylor’s fucking off.

    And hands off, you old farts, he’s mine. He’s only 6 months younger than me, so I’ve got a fighting chance.

  17. Taylor Lautner looks like a glorified pig.

    The other one looks like he’s got the bug.

    Everyone posting on this thread has to be over 40.

    @Marc S. Enjoy Prison.

    I kid, I kid!!! Lautner does look like a pig tho.

  18. I’m just waiting for Taylor to be 18…then good luck teenage girls! I can legally knock you out to get to him now..thanks 🙂

  19. I’ve lusted after Pattinson ever since he was in Harry Potter. He has class – Taylor is just another pretty boy.

  20. oh pulease! you want queens to choose? since when do we have to choose? we’re not straight: we want them both, at the same time…and maybe they could bring a few of their cute friends…make a party of it…

  21. KELLAN LUTZ beats them both but if I had to choose I choose the one with the hot abs.

  22. This has been the ultimate question since the beginning … now as for which one there is no decision I would be the meat in the middle

  23. I was always positive the followers of this blog had no taste with the constant bickering about ugly models that wouldn’t have gotten the job had that been the case…

    And this post proves it, team Edward all the way, immortality is sexy!!! Lautner is a pushover and will die out once the series ends, rob patz is the real deal…

    But add kellan lutz and he’ll take the cake!! 8^)

  24. This is tough for me on many levels.
    Firstly, because I hate Twilight.
    Secondly, Robert Pattinson is sexy and a little hairy. But not as toned, although that’s moderately attractive too.
    Thirdly, Taylor Lautner is so good looking, cut, and those pictures him on Rolling Stone with his armpits give me a boner instantaneously.
    And lastly, I really want on Kellan Lutz too.

  25. Which one is which one? That’s how much I know about these guys. I even saw the first Twilight Movie (which I’m ashamed to admit.
    Needless to say, I didn’t vote.

  26. This totally surprises me. For me, it’s Pattinson all the way. Lautner just looks … odd … to me.

  27. Hmmmmm it’s called a spitroast, the hard decision is which one gets which end????
    oh well 1/2 time change sides

  28. I pick Kellan Lutz, but he wasn’t an option. Out of the two it has to be Taylor. Unfortunately, Robert Pattinson is NOT that attractive.

  29. i’m sorry but neither. taylor lautner is just fugly as hell(awesome body tho) and robert pattison just looks like he smells like balls. if he would take a shower, then i’d reconsider.

  30. I have to choose Robert Pattinson, Not for his role as Edward but for his appeal in real life. I have a great attraction to is body type and natural body hair…What can I say? Don’t get me wrong Taylor Lautner has a beautiful body and I’d love to teach him a lot of things given the chance. But my first choice is Rob

  31. I agree with JamesCoz. In real life, Taylor is clearly the hottie. But in the books, it’s Edward.

  32. both are vile. taylor looks like a pug dog, and robert has less sex appeal than an old boot.

  33. Taylor all the way, in the movie and real life. He’s one hunky piece of werewolf goodness. I’d cuff him to the bed and wouldn’t let him leave the house. Screw Robert Pattinson, that guy looks like a creepy hobo, and Edward Cullen is like some kind of pale stalker kid with homicidal tendencies; cause how is it romantic to tell someone you want to kill them?

  34. Taylor Lautner reminds me of young Roman Heart… Does anyone else see this?

    But yes, I would definitely want Taylor Lautner before Robert Pattinson.

    Rpatz was way hotter in Harry Potter…

  35. The only way I’d fuck either one of these Over-rated dogs, is if someone held a gun to my head, and made me!!! Robert looks like a 15 year old HEROIN addict, and Taylor looks like a 15 year old STEROID abuser, who got punched in the face a few too many times…I say let the Teenybopper females have them both! 😀

  36. who fancies robert ugly pattinson, he is clearly dirty and smelly, his facial bone structure is not good – goggly eyes, recess cheekbones, large long and high nose, saggy over top lip, back set jaw with odd protrudant chin.

    and his bod is gross and skinny

    repulsive

    taylor is at least cute and fit

  37. and who are you vaginismus guys moaning about steroids…

    EVERY hot man on the face of the earth has taken steroids. they make you hot! every teenage boy needs pumping full of roids

  38. i like the typical hottie twink looks of TAYLOR,,,and also cuz he says he is GAY; he has a cute face and nice buffed bod…. very nice indeed !!!

  39. kay yall are too hung up on the muscles…look… i like muscly guys too but strictly to look at… i woundn’t know how to handle a jacob….. but i must say a scrawny guy with a bit of hair on the chest with years of wisdom and willing to spend eternity with me… that is the type of guy i could love… 😉 so i’ll remain Team Edward!

  40. Jacob has a smile to die for, the body to wrap you up to sleep and the eyes to lure you into him 🙂 He definetly wins !!

  41. Neither Team.

    I choose Emmet, seduced by Cullen the Patriarch….in a shower scene.

    …or Col. Mustard, in the Library with the candlestick holder.

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