The producers of American Idol almost invited actor and comedian Will Ferrell to perform on the season finale. But they weren't too thrilled when they read Ferrell's proposal.
The song he wrote for the show includes such amazing lyrics as, "Imagine if you will, a dolphin wearing a tiny cowboy hat. Then that same dolphin gives birth to a solid diamond baby." The skit states that the song was written by Bob Dylan, Bernia Taupin and Maya Angelou.
Obviously the premise is ridiculous, but wouldn't you have rather seen this song performance than damn Rod Stewart? It would have been like finding a naked Edilson Nascimento in your happy meal!
– Dewitt
To read the full skit and song from Will Ferrell, follow the JUMP:
SEACREST
As you all know when tonight's winner is chosen they will sing an original song written and orchestrated specifically for that magical moment. However starting next year every winner will sing one song which we will premiere tonight. The song was written by Bob Dylan, Bernia Taupin and poet laureate Maya Angelou and orchestrated by John Williams. Here now to give us a preview of the new American Idol finale song is 12 time Grammy award winner and former bass player for the Doobie Brothers, Will Ferrell!
MUSIC: GENTLE PIANO LEADS US BY THE HAND INTO THE SONG
(WILL FERRELL walks on stage in a white flowing shirt and pants with white moccasins on. The VT overhead shows clouds against a blue sky.)
FERRELL
IMAGINE IF YOU WILL A DOLPHIN
WEARING A TINY COWBOY HAT
THEN THAT SAME DOLPHIN GIVES BIRTH
TO A SOLID DIAMOND BABY…
THIS IS THE MOST WONDERFUL SONG EVER!!!
MAKES SUSAN BOYLE SEEM LIKE CHER
THIS IS THE MOST WONDERFUL SONG EVER!!
IT CAN MAKE AN EAGLE MAKE LOVE TO A BEAR!!!
(Reveal a choir of literally a thousand people. We can use seat filling cardboard cut outs if need be. But it should be absolutely gigantic.)
THIS IS THE MOST WONDERFUL SONG EVER
PAULA, THIS AINT LIP SYNCING, IT'S REAL!!
THIS SONG IS BETTER THAN ALL CHRISTMAS CAROLS COMBINED
LIKE FINDING A NAKED LADY, IN YOUR HAPPY MEAL!!!
TALK PART: You know when I first read this song I asked "Did Dylan, Taupin and Angelou really write this." And they said sort of. And I said what does that mean? And then they ran away. But after five bottles of wine I knew who the real writer of this song was….. the big man himself, God Almighty.
A THOUSAND YEARS FROM NOW
THIS SONG WILL BE STILL BE SUNG
EVEN IF PEOPLE NO LONGER HAVE MOUTHS
THIS SONG COST NINE POINT EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS
BUT WE COULD NOT FIND A WORD THAT
RYHMES WITH MOUTH
WILL:
IF JESUS WERE TO SING THIS SONG
ON A MOUNTAIN OF PUPPIES IN A LAND OF OLD
IT WOULD BE SO BEAUTIFUL
THAT ACCOUNTANTS EVERYWHERE WOULD PISS GOLD!!!
THE END!!!!
WILL: Between me and you Ryan, this song is terrible.
SEACREST: Your mic is on.
WILL: Oh…. Good night Burbank!!!!!!
Awful. I found the references to religious matter offensive. I’m glad the producers had enough sense to not allow it.
wow… the guy who posted the comment above mine is a complete idiot! he obviously doesn’t know that will ferrell is one of the most hilarious comedians alive and that this is meant to be a joke.
Awful. I found the references to dolphin cowboys offensive. I’m glad the producers were too fucking stupid to allow it.
Cause that’s how we roll in the hood. In the West Virginia hood. Show your teeth now. All five of them, don’t be shy!