Would You Hit That?: “World’s Best Bartender” Alexander Shtifanov

Is my fucking drink ready yet? Jesus. This is Alexander Shtifanov. He wowed the hell out of the audience of Ukraine’s Got Talent (yes, it’s global but luckily there’s no Howie Mandel on this one) with his mixology skills. Al’s also a cutie. If they remake Cocktail (don’t worry, they will), they should get Al a Rosetta Stone for English and hire his ass.

This post title might be misleading, though, cuz’ the “World’s Best Bartender” to me is someone who keeps your drink filled and doesn’t have an attitude. It looks like it might take Al a while to mix a drink. You’d have to wait. A long time. Still hypnotic, though. How did he flip the cup with the booze in it without anything spilling?

Speaking of bartenders, I’m sorta dreading Boston Gay Pride this weekend for one reason. As gay men we suffer, because gay bars and clubs tend to hire eye candy that can barely pour a beer. And they barely pour that beer with a big ole’ attitude! Seriously, it’s why I go to bear bars. At least there, the slowness is attributed to all the beef dude is carrying around. As opposed to STARING AT THEIR FUCKING SMARTPHONES AND EYE-ROLLING WHEN THEY REALIZE YOU’RE WAITING ON THEM. Bitch, if you don’t want to be here, fuck off. You’re not the only guy with cut abs, ya know!

This was supposed to be a post about asking you if you’d fuck Alexander Shtifanov (that’s an unwieldy name). It degenerated into me hating on certain bartenders. Apologies.

– J. Harvey

Check out Alexander Shtifanov in action after the JUMP:


27 thoughts on “Would You Hit That?: “World’s Best Bartender” Alexander Shtifanov

  1. Really? A techno remix of “Smells Like Teen Spirit?” I’m not really sure I want to dance to any Nirvana song regardless of the beat you put to it. What’s next a Tiesto remix of Rage Against the Machine’s “Killing in the Name?” Back to the questions at hand. The guy is cute, but his skills don’t make me want to sleep with him. Now if he’s a nice guy and gives me free drinks, we can talk.

  2. i’d definitely tap the baldie!!!! WOOF WOOF…. hey Alex is cute too, ok I am uber horny tonight….

  3. on second thoughts, I’d tap Alex too if he lost those awful fitting trousers!!!

  4. I want the bold judge!!! the bartender can bring me some drinks afterwards! 

  5. I’ll take a sandwich with the judge and the bartender… what’s the mixology equivelent? I’ll be the Irish Cream between their Kahlua and Grand Marnier in a B-52.

  6. I say yes.  If he can to that with his hands, imagine what it’s like when he uses those hands in bed…

  7. 1. he’s a total frakin’ hottie, and [[some inane swizzle-stick pun]]

    2. literally LAST NIGHT i discovered that i find juggling massively erotic (watching chip tanner from randyblue doing some awesome juggling in his underwear) — i came on MHD right now (though i do check it daily) specifically to find dewitt’s e-mail to plead for a post about juggling fetishism, if there is such a thing (sorry, J. Harvey, but dewitt’s just synonymous with MHD) — that this was the third post i saw after coming on specifically with juggling on the mind is beyond uncanny — awesome!

  8. Cute, but POUR MY FUCKING DRINK  ALREADY!!!  He would not last in a US bar, to many short-fused  alcoholics!!!!

  9. Boston Pride, hear I come. Finally I will meet Dewitt and J Harvey at the pride. I will stalk you guys and find you. I get all this week to stalk… LOL

  10. I would hit that like Chris Brown and Ike Turner in a car driven by Laura Bush…

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